Write about the following topic: Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

In modern society, owing to digital technology,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional education has been
replacing
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
by online classes. Some argue
if
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that
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these
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apply
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online learning has various advantages, still offline classes which meet all of the students in one space
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
. In my view, I agree
entiirely
Correct your spelling
entirely
with
this
statement.
Frist
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First
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, I
belive
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believe
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that
people
would
get to
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apply
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benefit from studying together in
classromm
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class
, because it is possible to interact
each
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with each
show examples
other. They learn with a group of peers, they will grow more fastly through competition and
coopertaiton
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cooperation
.
For example
, If we don't understand
about
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apply
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the
lesson
, we can
aks
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ask
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a question, and through
this
process, most of
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
know more
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
and figure out various
perspective
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perspectives
show examples
.
In addition
to
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apply
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,
there
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they
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are in
classroom
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a classroom
the classroom
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with others who act as watchdogs for each other, they don't behave except for study and
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
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on the
lesson
.
On the other hand
, some claim online studying is more advantageous to
people
.
According to
them, we
able
Add a missing verb
are able
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to learn the same quality of
lesson
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lessons
show examples
regardless of
time
.
For instance
, we can
chose
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choose
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the studying
time
depending on what
time
works best for us. If someone's
concentraiton
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concentration
is better in the
morining
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morning
than the night, they
chocie
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choose
the
morining
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morning
time
to train and spend
efficent
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efficient
sufficient
time
.
Also
, online classes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
possible to provide
repeted
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repeated
learning. It means
people
don't understand something or forget about the
lesson
, they try to review it thousands of times if they want. In sum
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it is certain
people
benefit from
time
choice and repeating, studying with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
peers in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
show examples
is still be advantage.
Hence
, I agree that
people
will learn types of education offline
than
Rephrase
rather than
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online.
Submitted by dlwltn6615 on

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task achievement
Your introduction sets a good foundation for your argument, but ensure your thesis statement is more explicit about your stance.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear and distinct paragraphs, each with a single main idea that is expanded upon with examples or further explanation.
coherence cohesion
Avoid abrupt transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases such as 'however', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' to smoothly transition from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument without introducing new information. It should restate your thesis in light of the evidence you've provided.
task achievement
Try to use specific examples to support your points. Personal or widely recognized examples make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
There are several spelling and grammatical errors in your essay. Working on spelling, grammar, and correct word usage will greatly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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