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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005. (percentage)

The chart below gives information about car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005. (percentage)
#information #car #ownership #uk #percentage
The line graph illustrates information about a person who lived in the United Kingdom and
own
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
 how many
cars
 in a
30 years
Correct your spelling
30-year
 time period
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 1975 to 2005.
Overall
,the two
car
 owners and three
car
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
 trend went high,
whereas
 no
car
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
 trend went low but 1
car
 owner
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 a bit but in the end remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. On the one hand,no
car
 and 1
car
 start the journey with below 45% and 45%,respectively.After a decade no
car
 showed a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 fall at 25%,but 1
car
 faced a steady fall(under 40%).
Furthermore
,no
car
 line went down gradually and reached almost 23%,
while
 one
car
 graph line got back to the previous position which was 45%.
On the other hand
,2
cars
 and 3
cars
 start the journey with nearly 7% and under 5%,respectively.In 1985,2
cars
 reached around 15%,which is three times better than 3
car
 owners(5%).
Finally
,2
cars
 ended the journey under 20%,
whereas
 3
car
 owners finished the time period nearly 10%.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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