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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table reveals data about the underground
railway
Use synonyms
 systems in 6 major cities relating to the data opened,
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route and
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the table is that Tokyo accounts for the highest proportion of
passengers
Use synonyms
 during the year. The oldest
railway
Use synonyms
 system is
London
Use synonyms
 which is
also
Linking Words
 the longest among the others. Moving into a more detailed analysis, it is obvious that in most cities
railway
Use synonyms
 systems were opened in the 1900s with the exception of
London
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 and Los Angeles (in 1863 and 2001 respectively). The length of Kyoto and Los Angeles formed very little share of the total, 11 and 28
kilometres
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 in turn. There is a little margin between Tokyo's and Washington DC'c routes, as the former is accountable for 155 km, and the latter is less than it by 29 km. The longest
railway
Use synonyms
 system built in
London
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 was 394
kilometres
Use synonyms
 , whose figure was twice as high as that of Paris, 199
kilometres
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. In terms of
passengers
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, Paris and Tokyo were the busiest railways with a share of more than 1 thousand. The third was
London
Use synonyms
 which was merely 775 km.
Consequently
Linking Words
, Kyoto and Los Angeles had the lowest contributions (45 and 50 respectively). At
last
Linking Words
, Washington's
passengers
Use synonyms
 comprised of the total by only 144 people

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, kilometres, passengers, london with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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