IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?

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In most of
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the contients
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contients
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contents
continents
, a lot of societies give priority to
Correct article usage
the rental
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rental
Replace the word
renting
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a
Change preposition
of a
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home
instead
Linking Words
 of
invest
Change the form of the verb
investing
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in
Correct pronoun usage
in it
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. And of course, there are some benefits of
hire
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hiring
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 it.
Also
Linking Words
, some
of
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apply
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states
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
this
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 situation,
however
Linking Words
 some of them
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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. In
this
Linking Words
artical
Correct your spelling
article
, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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all of these.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with increasing economic problems in the world, individuals who preparing to start a new life, are choosing to hire a home preferably have
it
Correct pronoun usage
one
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. Because
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
show examples
, to buy it, you need
to
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apply
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a lot of cash money.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is not possible in today's conditions. So that's why,
familys
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families
 choose
like
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apply
show examples
this
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 method. In
additional
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addition
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, with the changing mental structure,
person
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a person
the person
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 does not want to have anything, wants to travel, see new places and be unattached. Actually, that might be why they are doing
like
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, of course, leasehold places will have negative aspects. When we look at it broadly,
ın
Correct your spelling
in
 the long run, we'll pay more than owning. Despite all these, folks who are tenants have the freedom to live wherever they want and for as
ling
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long
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 as they want. It is the most important
things
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thing
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 for happy life and
biggest
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the biggest
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 positive aspect. In my opinion, states need to support to
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who wants to purchase for their beginning residence. If they do so, they will contribute significantly to the development of the city. In conclusion, we can not say any
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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 about
this
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 discussion. Everyone can do anything about their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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, and everyone is free
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 choices. I guess, the biggest role of the administration is to support its folks in the lives they want.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus more on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. This will make your argument easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly, enhancing the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure you answer both parts of the prompt fully. The essay should discuss the advantages of renting a home, and whether governments should subsidize house prices for first home buyers. It seems the latter part received less attention.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples or evidence to support your ideas. This helps to make your argument more persuasive and your essay more informative.
General Advice
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Use a variety of sentence structures and check your essay for any spelling or grammatical errors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the topics given in the prompt. Your introduction should present the topic of your essay and outline your main points, while your conclusion should summarily address the argument developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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