some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. others,however, argue that circumstances of an individuals crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Punishment
is one of the most serious issues which has
recived
Correct your spelling
received
considerable attention in recent times. some individuals utter that
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should
show examples
fix
Wrong verb form
be a fixed
show examples
penalty for all the crimes which happen in society,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
opine that should notice
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the details ranging from motivation to
crimer
Correct your spelling
crime
.
However
, I support the latter notion because of
cogent
Correct article usage
the cogent
show examples
reasons mentioned in the following paragraphs. there are some who state that we should notice
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different aspects of crimes and
then
proven
Verb problem
provide
show examples
some
rouls
Correct your spelling
rules
for
punishment
or fine them.
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
if a person who never
commite
Correct your spelling
commit
committed
commits
any
crime
suddenly
do
Verb problem
commits
show examples
a guilt in
extrime
Correct your spelling
extreme
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
the court and judge should consider the main roots of
this
matter and
then
punish the
crimmer
Correct your spelling
criminal
. most people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that we should have strict
rouls
Correct your spelling
rules
for
punishment
since these laws
permits
Change the verb form
permit
show examples
you to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
in society.
for instance
, if a robber who
stolen
Wrong verb form
stole
show examples
many things
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
citizens
recive
Correct your spelling
receives
an
adiquate
Correct your spelling
adequate
penalty it leads to reduce
crime
among persons and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
security.
moreover
, they say that you can prevent
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crime
commitment with harsh
punishment
because it can
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
a deep fear in their mind and restrain them before
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
anything.
nevertheless
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
could prove
legisations
Correct your spelling
legislations
legislation
to control the rate of delicts and focus on education to
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
childran
Correct your spelling
children
and the youth to
observance
Replace the word
observe
show examples
the
rouls
Correct your spelling
roles
rolls
rules
. in conclusion,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
many say that should have extreme
rouls
Correct your spelling
rules
for
crimmers
Correct your spelling
trimmers
crimes
, I hold the view that we have to notice
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the details of a
crimer
Correct your spelling
crime
contain
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
stimulats
Correct your spelling
stimulants
stimulates
and the background of their life and
then
punish them.
Submitted by bakhti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents arguments for both views and your own opinion, which fulfills the basic requirements of task achievement. However, to improve your score, ensure your response fully covers all parts of the task. This includes developing your arguments with more detailed and specific examples, which help to make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, structuring your essay into clear paragraphs is a good start. However, improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will make your essay easier to follow. Using a wider range of linking words effectively can significantly enhance the coherence of your argument. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported will strengthen your essay's cohesion.
General Advice
Double-check your essay for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your ideas. Consider practicing more complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively. Engaging more deeply with the prompt by providing more detailed analysis and discussion of the views would also strengthen your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: