some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. others,however, argue that circumstances of an individuals crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Punishment
is one of the most serious issues which has recived
considerable attention in recent times. some individuals utter that Correct your spelling
received
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should
fix
penalty for all the crimes which happen in society, Wrong verb form
be a fixed
others
opine that should notice Correct word choice
while others
to
the details ranging from motivation to Change preposition
apply
crimer
. Correct your spelling
crime
However
, I support the latter notion because of cogent
reasons mentioned in the following paragraphs.
there are some who state that we should notice Correct article usage
the cogent
to
different aspects of crimes and Change preposition
apply
then
proven
some Verb problem
provide
rouls
for Correct your spelling
rules
punishment
or fine them. for
example
if a person who never Add a comma
example,
commite
any Correct your spelling
commit
committed
commits
crime
suddenly do
a guilt in Verb problem
commits
extrime
Correct your spelling
extreme
condition
the court and judge should consider the main roots of Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
this
matter and then
punish the crimmer
.
most people Correct your spelling
criminal
belive
that we should have strict Correct your spelling
believe
rouls
for Correct your spelling
rules
punishment
since these laws permits
you to control Change the verb form
permit
the
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apply
crime
in society. for instance
, if a robber who stolen
many things Wrong verb form
stole
of
citizens Change preposition
from
recive
an Correct your spelling
receives
adiquate
penalty it leads to reduce Correct your spelling
adequate
crime
among persons and increase
security. Wrong verb form
increased
moreover
, they say that you can prevent of
Change preposition
apply
crime
commitment with harsh punishment
because it can make
a deep fear in their mind and restrain them before Verb problem
create
do
anything. Change the verb form
doing
nevertheless
, government
could prove Add an article
the government
legisations
to control the rate of delicts and focus on education to Correct your spelling
legislations
legislation
learn
Verb problem
teach
childran
and the youth to Correct your spelling
children
observance
the Replace the word
observe
rouls
.
in conclusion,Correct your spelling
roles
rolls
rules
where as
many say that should have extreme Correct your spelling
whereas
rouls
for Correct your spelling
rules
crimmers
, I hold the view that we have to noticeCorrect your spelling
trimmers
crimes
about
all the details of a Change preposition
apply
crimer
contain Correct your spelling
crime
of
Remove the preposition
apply
stimulats
and the background of their life and Correct your spelling
stimulants
stimulates
then
punish them.Submitted by bakhti on
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents arguments for both views and your own opinion, which fulfills the basic requirements of task achievement. However, to improve your score, ensure your response fully covers all parts of the task. This includes developing your arguments with more detailed and specific examples, which help to make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, structuring your essay into clear paragraphs is a good start. However, improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will make your essay easier to follow. Using a wider range of linking words effectively can significantly enhance the coherence of your argument. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported will strengthen your essay's cohesion.
General Advice
Double-check your essay for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your ideas. Consider practicing more complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively. Engaging more deeply with the prompt by providing more detailed analysis and discussion of the views would also strengthen your essay.
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