Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
day and age, becoming successful in life is the goal of thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
people
all over the world. It is argued that success comes from industry and dedication, Change preposition
of people
whereas
the
others think that Correct article usage
apply
money
and appearance is
crucial Correct subject-verb agreement
are
feature
for being successful. It is the opinion of Fix the agreement mistake
features
this
writer that it is better to improve based on your real ability and hard working
.
It is vital to understand that Replace the word
work
knowledge
is the foundation of the
successful life. Correct article usage
a
Besides
knowledge
, hard-working
Correct your spelling
hard work is
also
an important quality. Hundreds of millionaire comes
from poverty, Change the verb form
come
Correct word choice
and due
due
to Correct word choice
and due
Correct pronoun usage
their
the
determination, they change their fate. Take Pham Nhat Vuong as a prime example, he is the owner of Change the word
their
the
international company named Vingroup. In the past he Correct article usage
an
used to be
a poor student, at the age Verb problem
was
16
, by his Change preposition
of 16
knowledge
, he obtains
the Wrong verb form
obtained
opportunities
to move to Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
Russian
to live and learn. When he returns to Viet Nam, he starts to improve his company with Replace the word
Russia
the
unique idea, he turns Correct article usage
a
to
Change preposition
into
billionaire
in Correct article usage
a billionaire
short
period of time
Add an article
a short
However
, some suggest that money
and appearance is
much more important. Change the verb form
are
Money
can be ran
out of and the beauty will not Wrong verb form
run
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
last
forever. Plenty of dwellers become immersed in money
because they thought
that Wrong verb form
think
money
can bring them to
success. Diligence and devotion Change preposition
apply
is
stable and it is the prime qualities for your future plan nothing can defeat your own Change the verb form
are
knowledge
.
In conclusion, people may ensure a bright future by working hard, but other variables, including good luck and an alluring appearance, can also
contribute to success.Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to directly address the question in your introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion. This reinforces the presence of an introduction and conclusion tailored to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples. Although you mentioned Pham Nhat Vuong's story, elaborating on how exactly his hard work led to success, and including more examples like this, can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Address both views of the argument consistently throughout your essay. Ensure you explore each view thoroughly before providing your own opinion. This will improve the completeness of your response and the clarity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Integrate relevant examples to strengthen each argument you present. Examples should not only illustrate your point but should also be analyzed to show their relevance to the topic at hand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.