IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Stress related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this. What is solution can you suggest?

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Illness
Use synonyms
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common thing
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in the
streets
Use synonyms
. There are many causes
as well as
Linking Words
 solutions
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available which will be analysed in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of sick
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 most common
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the
hygiene
Use synonyms
 problems. To explain it, in
Use synonyms
streets
Add a comma
streets,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 throw their garbage anywhere and
this
Linking Words
 is the main problem for increasing bacteria and harmful viruses which
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 sickness.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
western countries many of the
people
Use synonyms
 who live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
street
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
 sides
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are sick because they do not follow the proper hygienic lifestyle.
Thus
Linking Words
,
illness
Use synonyms
 occurred in
Use synonyms
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
avilable
Correct your spelling
available
 to mitigate
Use synonyms
illness
Correct article usage
the illness
show examples
 ratio
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should clean
Wrong verb form
cleaning
show examples
 the
streets
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis
Use synonyms
. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in many downtown
street
Change to a plural noun
streets
show examples
 where
government
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 clean
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 month, so
government
Use synonyms
 should maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hygiene
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis
Use synonyms
 it is
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 responsibility to clean the
streets
Use synonyms
. If
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 clear it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
basis
Use synonyms
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
hygiene
Use synonyms
 will
be maintain
Change the verb form
be maintained
show examples
 and the
illness
Use synonyms
 problem would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decrease in
Use synonyms
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, daily clean the
Use synonyms
streets
Change noun form
street's
streets'
show examples
 garbage is the solution for
mainten
Correct your spelling
maintain
hygiene
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
illness
Use synonyms
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common thing
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
streets
Use synonyms
 because of
hygiene
Use synonyms
 problems, but there are some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 available
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 solve
this
Linking Words
 problem
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 should be clean the
streets
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction & Thesis
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and indicates the direction your essay will take. Your introduction should have a clear thesis statement that positions you on the topic.
Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs and across your essay more effectively. Though some effort is visible, more cohesive elements (e.g., transition words, pronoun referencing) could help the flow of ideas.
Paragraph Development
Develop and support your main points more fully. Each paragraph should explore a distinct idea clearly linked to the essay question, supported by specific examples or explanations.
Task Response
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Your response should discuss causes and solutions with equal development, making your position clear throughout the essay.
Tone and Accuracy
Work on maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid colloquial language and ensure you use punctuation correctly. Also, pay attention to spelling and grammar for greater clarity and professionalism.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress-related illnesses
  • rapid pace
  • pressure
  • balance
  • omnipresent
  • information overload
  • disconnect
  • economic uncertainties
  • job insecurity
  • financial stress
  • environmental factors
  • chronic stress
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • mental health
  • support programs
  • physical activity
  • healthy eating habits
  • awareness
  • accessibility
  • counseling
  • stress management
  • community environment
  • reconnect with nature
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