Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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Nowadays, many individuals believe that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

successfully

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

goals in life

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

hard work and dedication even though others have an opinion that money and appearance are the

factor

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factors

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success.

This

Linking Words

writer will analyze both points of

view

Use synonyms

and say why I agree with the second

viewpoints

Fix the agreement mistake

viewpoint

show examples

. First of all, determination and hard work are the keys to success. The main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

point of

view

Use synonyms

is that by being hard-working people can effortlessly

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

handle problems willingly when they are determined.

For example

Linking Words

, entrepreneurs

would

Verb problem

are

show examples

likely to encounter problems during their first startup of a business only the determined who constantly trying to improve themselves day by day shall

rise

Verb problem

apply

show examples

eventually be successful.

However

Linking Words

, people’s wealth and presence

also

Linking Words

act as important factors for a human’s

achieve

Replace the word

achievement

show examples

. It can be clearly seen that those who are

good looking

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good-looking

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and wealthy usually get the approval and respect

from

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other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

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. That way, they can

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

achievement

easier

Replace the word

easily

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than the ones who do not have money and good looks,

also

Linking Words

they do not have to spend a large of their dedication and diligence on being successful.

For instance

Linking Words

, on the

Tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

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platform, people who look good and cool will often attract a lot of attention from users, from which they get many advertising contracts and become successful from there. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

view

Use synonyms

, because almost

people

Correct determiner usage

all people

show examples

who

using

Change the form of the verb

use

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

attracted by the ones who have beautiful

appearance

Fix the agreement mistake

appearances

show examples

rich

Add a missing verb

are rich

show examples

. In conclusion, becoming

Add an article

a success

show examples

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

Change preposition

through

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diligence and dedication or

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a good look and

rich

Add a missing verb

being rich

show examples

are the best ideas, but the second

view

Use synonyms

will be easier

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than the first one if you are famous on the internet.

Tue Mar 26 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure a strong thesis statement in your introduction to present your opinion clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance clarity by using varied sentence structures and linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

Develop your body paragraphs more fully to support your points with clear, specific examples and detailed explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and range to improve the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your key points and restate your opinion, ensuring a strong, coherent finish to your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Some people believe that it is the residents that are responsible for the cleaning nd tidying the streets . While others believe it is the responsibility of government . Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

People can know about cultures and life through internet. So there is no need to travel to other countries to know about the culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The way children spend their free time has been altered by new technologies. Are the benefits of this greater than the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.