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Writing Samples
Band 5

The given pie charts illustrate the amount of journal articles read by all students, PhD students , and junior lecturers per week at an Australian university. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given pie charts illustrate the amount of journal articles read by all students, PhD students , and junior lecturers per week at an Australian university. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given pie charts illustrate the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of journal
articles
Use synonyms
 read by all
students
Use synonyms
,
PhD
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 , and junior
lecturers
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 at an Australian university.
Overall
Linking Words
,
PhD
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students
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 read most number of papers in a
week
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 , compared to the junior
lecturers
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 and all
students
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. Meanwhile, Junior
lecturers
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also
Linking Words
refere
Correct your spelling
refer
modest
Change the article
a modest
the modest
show examples
 number of
articles
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 per
week
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 relative to the other two categories. In detail,
overwhelming
Add an article
the overwhelming
an overwhelming
show examples
 majority , 80% of
PhD
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students
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 go through more than 12
articles
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 per
week
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 ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
almost a
quater
Correct your spelling
quarter
 of junior
lecturers
Use synonyms
reffer
Correct your spelling
refer
offer
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 same
amount
Use synonyms
 of papers and
minority
Correct article usage
a minority
show examples
 12% of all
students
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 read 12 or more
articles
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 a
week
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
 75% of junior
lecturers
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 go through 6-11 papers a
week
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while
Linking Words
 nearly
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of all
students
Use synonyms
refere
Correct your spelling
refer
 the same
amount
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 per
week
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 a modest 15% of the
PhD
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students
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 read
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal number of
articles
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 per
week
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. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
, a tiny minority, 1% of junior
lecturers
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 5% of
PhD
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students
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 read less than 6
article
Change to a plural noun
articles
show examples
sper
Correct your spelling
per
week
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a
show examples
hefty 67% of all
students
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refere
Correct your spelling
refer
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 same. In
further
Linking Words
 analysis,
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
 99% of junior
lecturers
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 and 95%
Use synonyms
PhD
Change preposition
of PhD
show examples
students
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 read more than 6
artlicles
Correct your spelling
articles
 per
week
Use synonyms
 ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
,
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of all
students
Use synonyms
 refer the same
amount
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, articles, students, phd, lecturers, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "modest" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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