IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee ad tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee ad tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar graph provides data regarding the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 three types of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumption in different five cities in
Austraila
Correct your spelling
Australia
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
to purchase
Change the verb form
purchasing
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the lowest common type and the ratio recorded under 50% in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all of the cities,
whereas
Linking Words
 visiting
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 was the highest except for
Adelaide
Use synonyms
. To start with, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 getting to a cafe shows almost over 50%. To be specific, Hobart and
Melourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 ranked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
Linking Words
recorded
Wrong verb form
recording
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount with nearly 63% during 4 weeks.
To the
Change preposition
The
show examples
next,
Linking Words
Sydney ran behind with 61%, followed by
brisbane
Change the capitalization
Brisbane
show examples
 and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 approximately 56% and 49% respectively. Following that, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of buying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 illustrates
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 percentage in every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
. Hobart was placed
first,
Linking Words
recording 54% and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealed
show examples
 about 50%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the graph demonstrates the proportion of
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 . Sydney and Melbourne recorded
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 44% and 42% each, following Hobart with 38% which
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 twice as much as the other types.
Birsbane
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest-ranking, recording
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 ratio to be
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 34%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "first, ".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, adelaide with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee consumption
  • tea consumption
  • shopping habits
  • demographic factors
  • preference trends
  • price sensitivity
  • convenience
  • per capita
  • restaurateurs
  • beverage industry
  • consumer behavior
  • market analysis
  • quantitative data
  • qualitative analysis
  • trend analysis
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • seasonal variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: