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Band 7.5

There is a moral necessity today for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries develop in terms of feeding the population, education and health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#necessity #countries #world #terms #population #education #health #care
In today's society, it is widely believed that there is a moral need for the wealthier
nations
 of the world to assist the less developed
countries
 in their efforts to address issues related to feeding their populations, providing
access
 to education, and improving healthcare. I completely agree with
this
 point of view. First and foremost, the unequal distribution of resources among
countries
 has resulted in a situation where some
nations
 struggle to meet the basic needs of their people.
This
 disparity in wealth and resources has led to widespread hunger and malnutrition in many parts of the world, with millions of people unable to
access
 an adequate supply of food. By providing assistance to help poorer
countries
 develop their agricultural abilities, the richer
nations
 can help address
this
 issue and ensure that everyone has
access
 to nutritious food.
Furthermore
,
access
 to education is a fundamental right that should be available to all individuals, regardless of their economic status. Yet, in many poorer
countries
, educational opportunities are limited
due to
 a lack of resources and infrastructure. By providing support for the development of educational systems in these
countries
, wealthier
nations
 can help ensure that all children have the opportunity to receive
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality learning, which can empower them to create better lives for themselves and contribute to the development of their communities. In conclusion, there is a strong need for the richer
countries
 of the world to help the poorer
countries
 regarding feeding the population, studying, and health care. By providing assistance in these areas, wealthier
nations
 can help address the root causes of poverty and inequality and contribute to a more equitable and just global society.
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task achievement
Broaden your argument with more varied and in-depth examples. While the essay effectively addresses the key points, including diverse examples from different regions or incorporating statistical data could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more diverse transitional phrases and connectors. Although your essay flows well, varying your linking words can make the text more engaging and smoother to read.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, it's essential to address possible counterarguments to your stance. This adds depth to your essay and shows critical thinking, which is highly valued in IELTS writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral necessity
  • global solidarity
  • affluent
  • food security
  • global stability
  • poverty reduction
  • global health standards
  • economic instability
  • inequality
  • non-intrusive
  • sovereignty
  • autonomy
  • self-reliance
  • sustainable development
  • international cooperation
  • transparent
  • accountable
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