More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, obesity

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

the number one concern in health news. The common cause of it

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the growth of

fast

Correct article usage

the fast

show examples

food

Use synonyms

industry.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the price of junk

food

Use synonyms

leads to huge accessibility of it. More and more people make

this

Linking Words

choice

instead

Linking Words

of the traditional meal. Nowadays, many of us lack free time and to be honest, we choose to spend our leisure with company or alone,

that is

Linking Words

why cooking can be not suitable for everyone.

Also

Linking Words

, with

busy

Add an article

a busy

show examples

schedule, people intend to order feed, which doesn't take a lot of time to prepare.

For example

Linking Words

, we should take a look at the Americans, some of them eat convenience

food

Use synonyms

on a regular basis.

Due to

Linking Words

their foodstuff contains a bunch of added sugar and unhealthy fats, people start to gain more weight.

This

Linking Words

becomes a serious issue for them and causes diseases related to health. The solution consists in removing

such

Linking Words

cuisine from

ration

Add an article

the ration

show examples

, including daily activity and drinking a gallon of water. Of course, if you are overweight, you

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

should consider going to the doctor and taking

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

against

this

Linking Words

problem.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, healthy meals are more expensive. Because of their quality, shop owners set higher prices, than of the precooked

food

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in

Austria

Add a comma

Austria,

show examples

customers prefer to buy fresh produce

such

Linking Words

as vegetables or fruits,

although

Linking Words

they

also

Linking Words

choose frozen meals as an addition. The Austrians don't cook much, but

this

Linking Words

simple balance keeps them healthy and fit. In conclusion, I would say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increasing the price of fattening foods can be one of the

solution

Change to a plural noun

solutions

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

obesity, but it is not the only one.

sofiaavramenko0906Tue Mar 26 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. Providing a clear stance in the introduction and relating each paragraph to this stance can solidify your position.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow and connectivity of your ideas. This can be improved by using a range of cohesive devices effectively and ensuring paragraphs are clearly focused on a single main idea.

task achievement

Develop your main points further by offering more detailed examples and explanations. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments, making your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of sentence structures to add variety to your writing and make points more effectively. Also, pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, andgovernment should make it free no matter what their financial background.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. how could robots be used in the future? will this be a positive or negative development?

The best way to motivate employee is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourage employees to work more efficiently?