some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

The
rasio
Correct your spelling
rate
of unemployment is high. The uneducated
people
face a lot of problems and
upcoming
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
poor situations.
on the other hand
, Well-educated
people
live
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
lives.Both situations and my opinion will be discussed in
this
essay.
Firstly
, It is better for those who are uneducated to access a bad situation for an unsatisfactory or no money. Uneducated
people
also
think about their future goals.
For example
, Many
people
are concerned about employment because they do not have any kind of skills.
Also
, It is necessary to save their daily savings funds. In my opinion, It is right to live in a bad situation or less money. Because sometimes they have no different option.
Secondly
, Others believe that educated
people
can easily achieve their goals in future life.
Moreover
, They do not like job or salary in a company. They think about other
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
jobs in other companies.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, if they want to make another career.
For example
, the story of J.K. Wolling who is a single mother living in the United States of America. Her story was refused many times by
publisher
Correct article usage
the publisher
show examples
. They did not give up, after all story became one of the most popular series. so, we should not give up on our own life. In conclusion, It is tempting to simply accept a bad situation. and become more confident, self-development and strength in our life.
Moreover
, gives advice to our future generation who are struggling with their situations. and focus on achieving their upcoming better education goals.
Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on

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task achievement
Consider clarifying your viewpoint further and directly address the prompt by discussing both views in a balanced manner. Each paragraph should distinctly represent a view and your argument should be clear throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly introduce the main point. This will help guide the reader through your discussion. Transition phrases between ideas will enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
To improve your score, it is important to support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Try to include detailed and relevant examples to back up your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and richer in content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
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