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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that children should study formal learning at school as young as possible. Others believe they should not go to school until they are at least 7. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent discussions, the suggestion that primary
children
Use synonyms
 should be educated on how to grow vegetables and keep animals has gained traction.
This
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 proposal presents a blend of traditional skills and environmental stewardship to young learners. On the one hand,
such
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 an education could significantly contribute to the holistic development of
children
Use synonyms
, equipping them with valuable life skills and knowledge about sustainability.
On the other hand
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, practical challenges and concerns about the appropriateness of
this
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 subject matter for young students might arise.
This
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 essay will explore both sides of the argument before drawing a conclusion. The advantages of integrating gardening and animal care into primary education are multifaceted. Primarily, it
instills
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instils
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 a sense of responsibility and a connection to nature in young minds. Learning to nurture plants and animals can teach
children
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 about the cycle of life, the importance of caring for our environment, and the effort required to produce food.
This
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 knowledge can lead to a healthier lifestyle and dietary choices, as
children
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 who grow their own food are more likely to consume fruits and vegetables.
Furthermore
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,
such
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 activities can enhance physical activity and reduce screen time, contributing to better physical health. From an educational perspective, these activities can
also
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 make abstract concepts tangible.
For example
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, mathematics becomes more engaging when
children
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 measure growth rates, and science lessons come alive as they observe plant life cycles and animal
behavior
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behaviour
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.
However
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, the introduction of agriculture into the primary curriculum is not without its disadvantages. The primary concern revolves around the allocation of resources. Schools in urban areas,
in particular
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, may struggle with space limitations, lacking the necessary land for gardens or facilities for animals.
Additionally
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, there is a financial cost associated with purchasing tools, seeds, and other materials. Another point of contention is the potential distraction from traditional academic subjects. Time spent on gardening and animal care could detract from core subjects like math, reading, and science, which are crucial for
children
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's academic development. In conclusion,
although
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 the obstacles are non-trivial, I believe the advantages
do
Verb problem
apply
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outweigh the disadvantages. With careful planning, collaboration with local communities, and the use of innovative solutions to overcome space and resource limitations, schools can offer a curriculum that not only covers traditional academic subjects but
also
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 prepares students for a sustainable future.

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task response
Ensure your essay closely aligns with the given topic to fully meet the task requirement. The essay diverged significantly from the specific discussion about the age at which children should start formal learning.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider clearly linking your paragraphs and ideas with a broader range of connectives and transitional phrases. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task response
For a higher score in task achievement, make sure to directly address the essay prompt. This involves discussing both views thoroughly and giving your opinion explicitly in relation to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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