All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is irrefutable that offspring tend to
be acquire
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acquire
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greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
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chances as far as their
parents
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parent's
parents'
show examples
effort
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efforts
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. Many think learning practical
skills
for industry
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
becoming more important but some people prefer that their children should be
thaught
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taught
show examples
with variety of subjects to support their future. In my opinion, both should be
thaught
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taught
show examples
since they complete each other. On the one hand,
foccus
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focus
to
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on
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student
skills
are crucial to guide them to survive and thrive in the real world. Their mentality is trained to face any
real world
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real-world
show examples
situation that can not be achieved when they only know about the theory. To justify my opinion, there are a
lot
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lot of
show examples
schools in Asia that
providing
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provide
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learning about leadership
skills
, teamwork, and only practical
skills
that
very
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are very
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usable.
On the other hand
, it is commonly believed that people are searching for meaning no matter how depth it is. They will use their mind to ask about the
phylosophy
Correct your spelling
philosophy
behind what they do.
Knowledge
about so many fields will help them to recognize the reason why
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
learn
such
subjects.
In addition
, they can use it for just discussing in their daily life about the
knowledge
that sometimes
amusing
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amuses
show examples
their minds which needed by people.
These
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This knowledge
show examples
knowledge
of so many subjects will create a fun life together to dive in some depth
knowledge
.
Furthermore
, it leads to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
critical thinking to understand the root of some fields.
To conclude
, practical
skills
are vitally important to educate them to be ready in the industrial world.
However
,
knowledge
on
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in
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variety
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a variety
show examples
of fields
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
definitely needed by them to stimulate their cognitive intelligence.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Introduce your points in the introduction, develop them in separate paragraphs, and summarize them in the conclusion. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
For better task achievement, focus on fully addressing the prompt. Ensure that you discuss both views and give your opinion clearly, providing specific examples to support your points. Develop your ideas thoroughly to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
language proficiency
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to avoid errors that could distract from your message. Consider practicing complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Practical skills
  • Financial literacy
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Well-rounded education
  • Independence
  • Real-life situations
  • Cognitive development
  • Broader understanding
  • Ideal education system
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