Some people say it is better to be unemployed than work in a job you dislike? Do you agree oelr disagree
Nowadays, most
people
need to work hard and stressful job
, Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
such
as accounting and waitressing. Therefore
, some people
think that some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
think that unemployment
is more good to individuals rather that
Correct word choice
than
work
in Wrong verb form
working
difficult
job. I totally disagree with stopping hard Add an article
a difficult
jobs
and live
without working.
Wrong verb form
living
To begin
with, the prominent reason why unemployment
is
Verb problem
has
adverse
impact Add an article
the adverse
an adverse
to
Change preposition
on
people
is that it leads people
to unsuccessful
in their careers. As a matter of fact Add a missing verb
be unsuccessful
that
Correct word choice
apply
people
cannot achieve,
if they avoid Remove the comma
apply
from
difficulties namely hard and annoying Change preposition
apply
jobs
. For example
, 75% of young people
in Turkey experienced an unsuccessful story with resigning their
affordable Change preposition
from their
jobs
. They were not able to find an easy and comfortable
Correct the article-noun agreement
an easy and comfortable job
easy and comfortable jobs
jobs
. As a result
, they could not obtain an achievement in their career life.
Another negative effect of resigning annoying jobs
and living without working is that it is due to
Correct article usage
an increase
increase
economic crisis in a country. Wrong verb form
increased
This
is because unemployment
rate is a very fundamental factor for measuring Add an article
the unemployment
economic
situation. Correct article usage
the economic
Hence
, if it growth
in a state, the economic crisis would increase. Replace the word
grows
For example
, in 2020, unemployment
rate Add an article
the unemployment
was
increased by resigning Unnecessary verb
apply
people
from their difficulties
occupations in Egypt. Replace the word
difficult
Consequently
, the country had a decline in economy.
In conclusion, although
living without working is stressful jobs
is entertainment, Fix the agreement mistake
job
still
it has more potential drawbacks. Add a comma
still,
Reasons
mentioned above Correct article usage
The reasons
supports
to Change the verb form
support
continue
in any Wrong verb form
continuing
jobs
is more helpful to employers by avoiding from unsuccessful life in the career and influencing to economic crisis.Fix the agreement mistake
job
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task achievement
Begin with a clear introduction that clearly states your opinion on the topic. Try to make your stance evident from the beginning to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you have provided examples, more detail and depth could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on your essay structure to improve flow and coherence. This includes having a clear introduction, body paragraphs that focus on one main point each, and a conclusive ending that summarizes your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Avoid repeating the same phrases and try to employ a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and professional.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.