IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The picture below shows the museum’s plant in 1998 and after some changes were made in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#picture #museum’s #plant #changes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The map provided indicates the museum’s plant from 1998 and after 10 years with some converted.
Overall
, museum facilities had relocated facilities from
distributed
Add a missing verb
being distributed
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placing
Verb problem
apply
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in the past to dividing into left and right in 2008.
To begin
 with, the garden had previously been located in the heart of the illustration
along with
 the
cafe
 in 1988. In spite of that, in 2008, a garden included not only fountains but
also
 a
cafe
 sitting area that still connected
along
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the
cafe
.
In particular
,
while
 the
cafe
 was located at the same location from 1998 to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 10 years, the length had been shortened and contained a restroom where it was located in the
south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 corner.
Next,
while
 tickets entrance and exit were positioned the same with only
minimise
Wrong verb form
minimising
show examples
 the size, only the shop moved from right to left
in
Change preposition
apply
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below the picture.
Moreover
, bags and
coats
Change the noun form
coat
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 amenities moved from the end of the left to
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 with bigger
size
Fix the agreement mistake
sizes
show examples
.
Also
,a temporary exhibition room had been moved to
top
Add an article
the top
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 with the double size.
Submitted by chlflsk4112 on

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General
You should include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Your overview is a good start, but try to conclude with a summary or final thought that wraps up your analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on clarifying your descriptions for a smoother flow. Sometimes, your ideas are not fully developed or are presented in a confusing manner.
Task Achievement
Be more specific and systematic in your comparison and descriptions. Introduce each section of the museum systematically, followed by the changes, to make your comparison clearer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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