Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Due to

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the massive population in modern society, numerous

crime

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issues have been caused in daily lives. From

this

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, several folks think that a

crime

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is caused by social issues

whereas

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others

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believe the result

Correct your spelling

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one's innate bad personality. In

this

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essay, I will examine both assertions and conclude that the social environment aroused the increasing

crime

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rate. Undoubtedly, there are compelling reasons why

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

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nature determines whether or not they become a criminal.

Firstly

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, they argue that an individual who is cruel turns to

crime

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more easily than a kind person.

For instance

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, a child bullying other boys or girls at school may turn into a violent criminal in the future.

Secondly

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, bad characteristics

such

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as laziness or selfishness could

also

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breed future offenders, who seek to acquire easy money without working for it. A number of youngsters choose to steal from

others

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instead

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of working hard to make an honest living. These are strong reasons for thinking that those who have an inborn bad nature are more likely to break the law. In spite of that, I believe

crime

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is caused

due to

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social grounds and life experiences.

Firstly

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due to

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the economic crisis worldwide, many people have been losing their jobs

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

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in social failure that may bring into stealing from

others

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or any other crimes.

Secondly

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, lack of education

from

Change preposition

apply

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not only from the parents but

also

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from

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apply

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the school contributed to the occurrence of

crime

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by influencing individuals’

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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For example

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, from an early

age

Add a comma

age,

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it is crucial to have a certain education to prevent

crime

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since it affects adult age.

This

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could be behaving politely to society and to

others

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. In a nutshell, even though

crime

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is a result of one's bad personality since there’s massive cruel media that could make one violent, I believe that most crimes happen

due to

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social issues like economic crisis or lack of education.

chlflsk4112Wed Mar 27 2024

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Introduction Enhancement

Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the key points that will be discussed in the essay. Your introduction does an adequate job, but it could be more engaging by including a hook or a stronger thesis statement.

Supporting Examples

Develop your main points with more detailed examples. While you have provided some examples to support your arguments, deeper and more specific examples could strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.

Transitional Phrasing

Work on the coherence of your arguments by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points, making the essay flow more naturally.

Conclusion Development

Expand on your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in the essay. Include a strong final statement that reflects your opinion clearly and persuasively.

Task Completion

To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Discuss both views in detail before expressing your own opinion. Your essay does well in this regard, but make sure your opinion is consistent and well-supported throughout.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?