Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #poverty #person’s #nature

Due to

the massive population in modern society, numerous

crime

issues have been caused in daily lives. From

this

, several folks think that a

crime

is caused by social issues

whereas

others

believe the result

Correct your spelling

show examples

one's innate bad personality. In

this

essay, I will examine both assertions and conclude that the social environment aroused the increasing

crime

rate. Undoubtedly, there are compelling reasons why

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

nature determines whether or not they become a criminal.

Firstly

, they argue that an individual who is cruel turns to

crime

more easily than a kind person.

For instance

, a child bullying other boys or girls at school may turn into a violent criminal in the future.

Secondly

, bad characteristics

such

as laziness or selfishness could

also

breed future offenders, who seek to acquire easy money without working for it. A number of youngsters choose to steal from

others

instead

of working hard to make an honest living. These are strong reasons for thinking that those who have an inborn bad nature are more likely to break the law. In spite of that, I believe

crime

is caused

due to

social grounds and life experiences.

Firstly

due to

the economic crisis worldwide, many people have been losing their jobs

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

show examples

in social failure that may bring into stealing from

others

or any other crimes.

Secondly

, lack of education

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

not only from the parents but

also

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the school contributed to the occurrence of

crime

by influencing individuals’

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

, from an early

age

Add a comma

age,

show examples

it is crucial to have a certain education to prevent

crime

since it affects adult age.

This

could be behaving politely to society and to

others

. In a nutshell, even though

crime

is a result of one's bad personality since there’s massive cruel media that could make one violent, I believe that most crimes happen

due to

social issues like economic crisis or lack of education.

Submitted by chlflsk4112 on Wed Mar 27 2024

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Introduction Enhancement

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Supporting Examples

Develop your main points with more detailed examples. While you have provided some examples to support your arguments, deeper and more specific examples could strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.

Transitional Phrasing

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Conclusion Development

Expand on your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in the essay. Include a strong final statement that reflects your opinion clearly and persuasively.

Task Completion

To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Discuss both views in detail before expressing your own opinion. Your essay does well in this regard, but make sure your opinion is consistent and well-supported throughout.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Too much emphasis is given to education on the young. More government money should be spent on the free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

TASK 2 (Academic and General Training) You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? Write at least 250 words.

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. what are Causes and Solutions for this problem?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.