Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #time #hobbies #case #effect #society

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In recent years,

society

has sped up significantly. Workers are constantly struggling to meet their deadlines, leaving them with barely any time for themselves.

Consequently

, many people believe that those who can dedicate time to hobbies are becoming fewer. In

this

essay, I will discuss the main reason for

this

trend and its effects. The issue of overwork has been widely discussed across various platforms.

According to

a New York Times article, over 79% of workers in the United States regularly

work

overtime.

This

raises questions about how individuals can maintain a balanced life when pressured to

work

within unreasonable timeframes. Mr. Smith's research, published in The New Yorker, sheds light on

this

phenomenon.

Mr.

Change the punctuation

show examples

Smith's research indicates that in order to maintain high

work

standards, many employees sacrifice their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

activities,

such

as sports or arts and crafts. With limited hours in a day,

society

has ingrained the notion of prioritizing

work

above all

else, relegating family and hobbies to secondary roles. Unfortunately, the lack of recreational activities has been linked to negative impacts on individuals and

society

as a whole. Numerous studies have confirmed that stress and depression can result from low serotonin levels. Engaging in activities one loves and reducing

work

hours are effective ways to improve mental well-being. Whether it's

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

, going to the gym, knitting, or gardening, dedicating time to hobbies is crucial for personal enjoyment and happiness.

Furthermore

, individual happiness contributes to

overall

societal well-being, as evidenced by the lower levels of criminality in harmonious

neighborhoods

Change the spelling

neighbourhoods

show examples

. In conclusion, the primary reason for the decline in hobby devotion is the demanding

work

schedule prevalent in

society

. Regrettably,

this

trend negatively affects individual happiness and societal welfare and safety.

Submitted by ste.deblasi.97 on Wed Mar 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, showcasing a clear understanding and providing relevant examples. However, further exploration of the impact on society could enrich your response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea. For further improvement, you might consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more seamlessly across paragraphs.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The Greeting

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

NOWADAYS many people complain that they have difficulites getting enough sleep. what problems can lack of sleep cause? what can be done about lack of sleep?

Aircraft have been increasingly used for transport fruit and vegetable to some country where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.