Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years,

society

Use synonyms

has sped up significantly. Workers are constantly struggling to meet their deadlines, leaving them with barely any time for themselves.

Consequently

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, many people believe that those who can dedicate time to hobbies are becoming fewer. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the main reason for

this

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trend and its effects. The issue of overwork has been widely discussed across various platforms.

According to

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a New York Times article, over 79% of workers in the United States regularly

work

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overtime.

This

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raises questions about how individuals can maintain a balanced life when pressured to

work

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within unreasonable timeframes. Mr. Smith's research, published in The New Yorker, sheds light on

this

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phenomenon.

Mr.

Change the punctuation

show examples

Smith's research indicates that in order to maintain high

work

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standards, many employees sacrifice their

favorite

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favourite

show examples

activities,

such

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as sports or arts and crafts. With limited hours in a day,

society

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has ingrained the notion of prioritizing

work

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above all

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else, relegating family and hobbies to secondary roles. Unfortunately, the lack of recreational activities has been linked to negative impacts on individuals and

society

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as a whole. Numerous studies have confirmed that stress and depression can result from low serotonin levels. Engaging in activities one loves and reducing

work

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hours are effective ways to improve mental well-being. Whether it's

traveling

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travelling

show examples

, going to the gym, knitting, or gardening, dedicating time to hobbies is crucial for personal enjoyment and happiness.

Furthermore

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, individual happiness contributes to

overall

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societal well-being, as evidenced by the lower levels of criminality in harmonious

neighborhoods

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neighbourhoods

show examples

. In conclusion, the primary reason for the decline in hobby devotion is the demanding

work

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schedule prevalent in

society

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. Regrettably,

this

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trend negatively affects individual happiness and societal welfare and safety.

ste.deblasi.97Wed Mar 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, showcasing a clear understanding and providing relevant examples. However, further exploration of the impact on society could enrich your response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea. For further improvement, you might consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more seamlessly across paragraphs.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The Greeting

Some people argue that government should spend their money on elderly people's care. However, other people say that government should focus more on education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments spend large amounts of money on art that not all people enjoy. This money could be better spent on things that benefit the majority of the population. Do you agree?

In many countries, a lot of food is wasted. Why do people waste food? How can we reduce the amount of food waste?

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?