Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years,
society
has sped up significantly. Workers are constantly struggling to meet their deadlines, leaving them with barely any time for themselves.
Consequently
, many people believe that those who can dedicate time to hobbies are becoming fewer. In
this
essay, I will discuss the main reason for
this
trend and its effects. The issue of overwork has been widely discussed across various platforms.
According to
a New York Times article, over 79% of workers in the United States regularly
work
overtime.
This
raises questions about how individuals can maintain a balanced life when pressured to
work
within unreasonable timeframes. Mr. Smith's research, published in The New Yorker, sheds light on
this
phenomenon.
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
Smith's research indicates that in order to maintain high
work
standards, many employees sacrifice their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
activities,
such
as sports or arts and crafts. With limited hours in a day,
society
has ingrained the notion of prioritizing
work
above all
else, relegating family and hobbies to secondary roles. Unfortunately, the lack of recreational activities has been linked to negative impacts on individuals and
society
as a whole. Numerous studies have confirmed that stress and depression can result from low serotonin levels. Engaging in activities one loves and reducing
work
hours are effective ways to improve mental well-being. Whether it's
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, going to the gym, knitting, or gardening, dedicating time to hobbies is crucial for personal enjoyment and happiness.
Furthermore
, individual happiness contributes to
overall
societal well-being, as evidenced by the lower levels of criminality in harmonious
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
. In conclusion, the primary reason for the decline in hobby devotion is the demanding
work
schedule prevalent in
society
. Regrettably,
this
trend negatively affects individual happiness and societal welfare and safety.
Submitted by ste.deblasi.97 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, showcasing a clear understanding and providing relevant examples. However, further exploration of the impact on society could enrich your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea. For further improvement, you might consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more seamlessly across paragraphs.

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