IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
The circular
chart
Use synonyms
 gives information about the various modes of transport and the table illustrates the the reason behind the usage of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 by the individuals in the city is depicted by the given charts.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature of the pie
chart
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 is that
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
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 is the most preferred vehicle by
public
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the public
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 to commute,
while
Linking Words
 to reach timely at job locations is the reason behind the preference
of
Change preposition
for
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car
Use synonyms
 by
public
Add an article
the public
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 is represented by the table
chart
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. Taking a cursory glance, it can be manifested that in the pie
chart
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, passengers who are least interested in
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
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 have
similar
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a similar
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 proportion of a tenth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a difference of 10% accounted for the means of transport between
car
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 and the Light Rail Transit as the former is used 45% and the latter 35% to travel
at
Change preposition
to
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 different places by the commuters. Moving to
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 details, in the table, 55% of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the car
a car
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 used by workers to travel to their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 percentage is significantly lower in shopping and
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 activities as only the usage of
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Add an article
the car
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 is only 15% for these two reasons.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure(
two fifth
Correct your spelling
two-fifths
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) is comparatively high in terms of
car
Use synonyms
 usage by the parents to take their children to the schools.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 45% of travelling
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 takes place by business tycoons for meetings.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, car with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • public transportation
  • cultural attitudes
  • electric vs. traditional vehicles
  • peak hours
  • environmental implications
  • economic factors
  • socio-economic divide
  • technological advancements
  • public policy
  • environmental awareness
  • urban development
  • air quality
  • traffic congestion
  • accessibility
  • government initiatives
  • community actions
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