IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #usa #food #restaurants #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how frequently
people
 in the USA ate in fast
food
 restaurants between
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003, 2006 and 2013. There are 6 categories represented: eating
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, several times a
week
, once a
week
, once or twice a month, a few times a
year
, and never. In 2003, the highest
percentage
 of
frequency
 of eating fast
food
 is almost 30%, and
people
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 fast
food
 once a
week
.
Besides
, eating
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 shows the lowest
percentage
, which is at under 5%, and it is similar to
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
 who never ate fast
food
, which
at
Add a missing verb
is at
show examples
 5%. In 2006, the
percentage
 of
frequency
 that
people
 who
eating
Change the form of the verb
eat
show examples
 fast
food
 once a
week
, over 30%, is the highest number.
On the other hand
, both the lowest and another lowest
percentage
 of
people
 who ate fast
food
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, and never ate them show under 5%. In 2013, unlike
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2006, the highest
percentage
 of
frequency
 eating at fast
food
 restaurants is that eating fast
food
 once or twice a month.
Besides
, the lowest
percentage
 of
frequency
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2006.
Overall
,
people
 who ate in fast
food
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to increase between 2003 and 2006.
However
, the data suggest that
people
 were inclined to reduce
absorb
Verb problem
the consumption of
show examples
 fast
food
 in 2013.
This
 assumes that
people
realized
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the increasing importance of
taking
Verb problem
eating
show examples
 healthy foods.
Submitted by imagelim329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, year, week, percentage, frequency with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: