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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #usa #food #restaurants #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how frequently
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA ate in fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants between
Use synonyms
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003, 2006 and 2013. There are 6 categories represented: eating
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, several times a
week
Use synonyms
, once a
week
Use synonyms
, once or twice a month, a few times a
year
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, and never. In 2003, the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
frequency
Use synonyms
 of eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 is almost 30%, and
people
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eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a
week
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, eating
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 shows the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
, which is at under 5%, and it is similar to
Use synonyms
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who never ate fast
food
Use synonyms
, which
at
Add a missing verb
is at
show examples
 5%. In 2006, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
frequency
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 who
eating
Change the form of the verb
eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a
week
Use synonyms
, over 30%, is the highest number.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both the lowest and another lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, and never ate them show under 5%. In 2013, unlike
Use synonyms
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2006, the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
frequency
Use synonyms
 eating at fast
food
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 restaurants is that eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month.
Besides
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
frequency
Use synonyms
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
Use synonyms
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who ate in fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to increase between 2003 and 2006.
However
Linking Words
, the data suggest that
people
Use synonyms
 were inclined to reduce
absorb
Verb problem
the consumption of
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
This
Linking Words
 assumes that
people
Use synonyms
realized
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the increasing importance of
taking
Verb problem
eating
show examples
 healthy foods.
Submitted by imagelim329 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, year, week, percentage, frequency with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
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