Many young people nowadays choose to remain unmarried. Why are people doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In'today
modern life, young Correct your spelling
In today
people
are attracted by working and business, some people
believe that in
currently young Change preposition
apply
people
are pursuing the trend to remain
unmarried. In Change preposition
of remaining
this
essay, I want to discuss some reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
occuring
Verb problem
apply
this
situation and offer the positive and negatives
development.
On the one hand, I think there are two cautions about the single of young Change the noun form
negative
people
. Firstly
, the problem launches from individual finance, for a ceremony to be held it is included paying for this
held, party for friends and invitees and a new house_which consist of equitments
. Young Correct your spelling
equipment
requirements
people_who
just got to work in a short Correct your spelling
people who
tme
will difficult to save Correct your spelling
time
a
huge money to pay. Remove the article
apply
Secondly
, nowadays, insteading
of having a relationship to Correct your spelling
instead
Verb problem
apply
come
marry, young Add the particle
come to
people
usually choose a short-term relationship or choose taking
care of pets Wrong verb form
take
such
as:
cats Remove the comma
apply
and
Correct word choice
apply
dogs-which
can reduce Correct your spelling
which
the
loneliness.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, this
situation has both positive and negative. This
first one is Correct determiner usage
The
benefit
come from that young Correct article usage
the benefit
people_who
Correct your spelling
people who
not
marry can focus on their career, Add a missing verb
do not
this
will be handy for economy
of Add an article
the economy
social
, create many productions, ideals, Replace the word
society
goods
and Correct word choice
and goods
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
commercial
. Despite Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
of
the positives, the situation brings some detrimental effects for nation_when not Change preposition
apply
marry
synonymous with the birth rateVerb problem
apply
decreased
. Young Verb problem
apply
people
are not getting married, they also
not
have babies or Add a missing verb
do not
chcildren
Correct your spelling
children
were
born in a single family will not receive love from both dad and Unnecessary verb
apply
mon
. The dreary pospect of their country will occur the same Correct your spelling
mom
like
Korea or Japan- a noticeable example Change preposition
as
about
where have Change preposition
of
the
similar trend, and harmful by the disappear of nation in Correct article usage
a
Correct article usage
the furture
furture
and not enough labour for working.
In conclusion, there are many reasons Correct your spelling
future
to cause
unmarried Verb problem
why
in
young Change preposition
apply
people
when thier
are not collecting enough money or Correct pronoun usage
apply
choose
other Wrong verb form
choosing
lifestyle
, the positive improve economy but the negatives are worse because of a decline in Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
birth
rate and harm Correct article usage
the birth
for
Change preposition
to
future
.Correct article usage
the future
Submitted by hoangminhnhat150206 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Try using topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce the essay with a more precise thesis statement that clearly states your position on the topic. End with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. General statements are less convincing than detailed, real-world instances.
Language proficiency
Pay attention to accuracy and complexity in your grammatical constructions and vocabulary use. Consider revising for clarity and precision.
Task Achievement
Address both parts of the question thoroughly. Ensure you explain why young people are choosing not to marry and discuss the implications of this trend in more depth.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite