Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important, while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?*

In the contemporary epoch, the youngster are generally
influened
Correct your spelling
influenced
by the behaviour of their friends and same agemates. Whether
the
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apply
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older people should be given
Correct article usage
the rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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to
supress
Correct your spelling
suppress
their kids
while
making decisions. Each
approach
carries
distict
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distinct
advantages and disadvantages, and the preference for one over the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
is
subjevtive
Correct your spelling
subjective
.
This
essay will delve into the merits and drawbacks of peer
pressure
before offering my perspective on which
approach
might be considered superior. One significant pro of not pressurising the children during
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
is that it will help them to get
self dependent
Add a hyphen
self-dependent
show examples
. They can learn from their mistakes if they any wrong decision
intially
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initially
. making
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
at first and
then
correcting them without any elderly person's interference, they can grow at an early stage.
Thus
,
this
approach
can lead to a greater sense of personal fulfilment, as individuals can take ownership of their own
endeavors
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endeavours
show examples
.
While critics
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Critics
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say that peer
pressure
is essential because it is necessary to keep an eye on the adheres of their juveniles. The major reason behind
this
is,
it
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that it
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is very common nowadays that youngsters may fall
in
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into
show examples
a
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apply
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bad company like taking drugs and getting disconnected from their academics.
Hence
,
this
support
along with
the
pressure
from guardians can contribute to their secure future and
overall
well-being.
Likewise
,
parenets
Correct your spelling
parents
can stop their tutees
committing
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from committing
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
mistakes that they did in
their
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the
show examples
past as
this
could help them to save
their
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apply
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time from
repeting
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repeating
same
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the same
show examples
troubles. In my opinion, the choice between whether kids should
take
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make
show examples
their decisions by themselves or should get
assist
Replace the word
assistance
show examples
from
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
id
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is
show examples
dependent on individual preference.
While
,
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apply
show examples
taking
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making
show examples
own decisions offers autonomy,
pressure
from parents offers
secure
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a secure
show examples
future. The ideal
approach
may involve
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
careful consideration of children's behaviour
,
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apply
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if the
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kids
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kid's
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kids
show examples
are
sensere
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sincere
then
they should be allowed to choose their own trajectory, but if they
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do
show examples
does
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do
show examples
not seem to be excellent students
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their
show examples
them
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their
show examples
parents should keep a check on them. Ultimately, both paths have their merit and demerit but I still think that peer
pressure
advantages are more. In conclusion, the choice between both paths
hings
Correct your spelling
depends
on individual priorities. Each offers unique benefits and drawbacks,
According
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In
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my view its advantages
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
its disadvantages.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline your position. Your introduction should directly address the question and state whether you believe the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages, or vice versa.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay's coherence by using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices. This will help to connect your ideas more smoothly and improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with more relevant and specific examples. This helps illustrate your points more clearly and makes your argument more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your essay. Practice proofreading your essay to catch and correct these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • influence
  • behaviours
  • age group
  • positive behaviour
  • negative influence
  • substance abuse
  • reckless behaviour
  • detrimental effects
  • health and future prospects
  • social skills
  • sense of belonging
  • emotional and psychological development
  • erode
  • self-esteem
  • personal values
  • decision-making abilities
  • introduce new perspectives
  • open-mindedness
  • conform
  • individuality
  • creativity
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