Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important, while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?*

#people #behaviours #age #group #argue #peer #pressure

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In the contemporary epoch, the youngster are generally

influened

Correct your spelling

influenced

by the behaviour of their friends and same agemates. Whether

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older people should be given

Correct article usage

the rights

show examples

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

supress

Correct your spelling

suppress

their kids

while

Linking Words

making decisions. Each

approach

Use synonyms

carries

distict

Correct your spelling

distinct

advantages and disadvantages, and the preference for one over the

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

subjevtive

Correct your spelling

subjective

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into the merits and drawbacks of peer

pressure

Use synonyms

before offering my perspective on which

approach

Use synonyms

might be considered superior. One significant pro of not pressurising the children during

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

is that it will help them to get

self dependent

Add a hyphen

self-dependent

show examples

. They can learn from their mistakes if they any wrong decision

intially

Correct your spelling

initially

. making

wrong

Add an article

the wrong

show examples

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

at first and

then

Linking Words

correcting them without any elderly person's interference, they can grow at an early stage.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

approach

Use synonyms

can lead to a greater sense of personal fulfilment, as individuals can take ownership of their own

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

Linking Words

While critics

Correct word choice

Critics

show examples

say that peer

pressure

Use synonyms

is essential because it is necessary to keep an eye on the adheres of their juveniles. The major reason behind

this

Linking Words

is,

Correct word choice

that it

show examples

is very common nowadays that youngsters may fall

Change preposition

into

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad company like taking drugs and getting disconnected from their academics.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

support

along with

Linking Words

the

pressure

Use synonyms

from guardians can contribute to their secure future and

overall

Linking Words

well-being.

Likewise

Linking Words

parenets

Correct your spelling

parents

can stop their tutees

committing

Change preposition

from committing

show examples

similiar

Correct your spelling

similar

mistakes that they did in

their

Change the word

the

show examples

past as

this

Linking Words

could help them to save

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time from

repeting

Correct your spelling

repeating

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

troubles. In my opinion, the choice between whether kids should

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

their decisions by themselves or should get

assist

Replace the word

assistance

show examples

from

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

dependent on individual preference.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

taking

Correct your spelling

making

show examples

own decisions offers autonomy,

pressure

Use synonyms

from parents offers

secure

Correct article usage

a secure

show examples

future. The ideal

approach

Use synonyms

may involve

Remove the article

apply

show examples

careful consideration of children's behaviour

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the

Change noun form

kids

show examples

kid's

Change noun form

kids

show examples

are

sensere

Correct your spelling

sincere

then

Linking Words

they should be allowed to choose their own trajectory, but if they

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not seem to be excellent students

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

parents should keep a check on them. Ultimately, both paths have their merit and demerit but I still think that peer

pressure

Use synonyms

advantages are more. In conclusion, the choice between both paths

hings

Correct your spelling

depends

on individual priorities. Each offers unique benefits and drawbacks,

According

Change preposition

show examples

my view its advantages

overweigh

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

its disadvantages.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Wed Mar 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline your position. Your introduction should directly address the question and state whether you believe the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages, or vice versa.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance your essay's coherence by using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices. This will help to connect your ideas more smoothly and improve the readability of your essay.

task achievement

Support your main points with more relevant and specific examples. This helps illustrate your points more clearly and makes your argument more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your essay. Practice proofreading your essay to catch and correct these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

368 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

peer pressure
influence
behaviours
age group
positive behaviour
negative influence
substance abuse
reckless behaviour
detrimental effects
health and future prospects
social skills
sense of belonging
emotional and psychological development
erode
self-esteem
personal values
decision-making abilities
introduce new perspectives
open-mindedness
conform
individuality
creativity

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Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important, while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?*

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries , the government promote public transportation and discourage the private vehicles what are the advantage and disadvantages?

International travel and tourism have become easier and more affordable. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?