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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below describes some changes in the percentage of people who were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and towns between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes in the percentage of people who were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and towns between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #towns #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts depict data about
people
Use synonyms
 born inside and outside of
Australia
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 divided by regions, including towns,
cities
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 and rural areas in 1995 and 2010, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
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 of natality was higher outside
Australia
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 in 1995,
however
Linking Words
 in 2010,
altough
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although
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people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 conceived in
cities
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 of other countries was
markly
Correct your spelling
markedly
 higher than inside, the other two categories showed a
minimun
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minimum
 percentage, roughly between 10 and 15%. In detail, in 1995 quantities of
people
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 born in
cities
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 and rural areas either in
Australia
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 or outside were higher than in towns.
Besides
Linking Words
,
overseas
Correct article usage
the overseas
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 rate of conception was 60%
while
Linking Words
 in
cities
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 was around 50%. On
ther
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the
 other hand, in 2010, most
people
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 were born in
cities
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, especially in
foreing
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foreign
forming
 regions. The lowest rate of birth was in rural areas outside
Australia
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
people
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 that were born locally in towns and countryside regions were equivalent, with a value just below 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities with synonyms.
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