[2:12 pm, 27/03/2024] ℋᎯℳℐⅅ: Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? [2:12 pm, 27/03/2024] 🇵 Ə 🇳 🇦 🇭:
Nowadays the majority of
people
suffer from overweight
, and Add a missing verb
being overweight
this
situation has some reasons, also
effects. In this
essay, I will discuss the main reason behind obesity and propose some possible suggestions that can be helped.First of all, the
technology has improved day by day, and it can provide individuals with various services which make their life easier. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, they can buy their needs from online shopping sites, therefore
they should not go anywhere, also
they do not do exercise, and
Correct word choice
apply
it
leads to Correct pronoun usage
which
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
their
cholesterol level and blood pressure. Change preposition
in their
Furthermore
, today, in the contemporary world, we face with
different Change preposition
apply
pandemic
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
such
as covid-19
, and Correct your spelling
COVID-19
people
should stay at their
home, they cannot go out. They become lazy persons by working from their Correct pronoun usage
apply
home
, Fix the agreement mistake
homes
it
leads them to be overweight.
Correct pronoun usage
which
Overweight
has some effects on Add a missing verb
Being overweight
people
’s life. One of them is health problems . To be more specific, if they do not do
exercise enough, they cannot manage their Unnecessary verb
apply
healthy
conditions, and their cholesterol level and blood pressure can increase which can be Replace the word
health
reason
for important Add an article
the reason
a reason
disease
in the future. At the same time, Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
this
situation can decrease their productivity in their work. They cannot do some task
because of their weight.
In conclusion, improving Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
of
Remove the preposition
apply
the
technology creates lazy Correct article usage
apply
people
in contemporary
world. Its reasons can be different, but Add an article
the contemporary
this
trend result
in Change the verb form
results
overweight
, and it can change our modern life directly. The majority of overweight Add a missing verb
being overweight
people
deal with some health issues, also
it can decline productivity of their work.Submitted by writingbhos on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction gives a preview of the causes and effects you will discuss, making your intentions clear from the beginning.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and analysis. Instead of general statements, include specific, real-world instances or more detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure; each paragraph should have one clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Use topic sentences to introduce the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your logic.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentences that are awkwardly constructed or grammatically incorrect. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to enhance the clarity of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.