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[2:12 pm, 27/03/2024] ℋᎯℳℐⅅ: Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? [2:12 pm, 27/03/2024] 🇵 Ə 🇳 🇦 🇭:

#people #effects #epidemic
Nowadays the majority of
people
 suffer from
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
, and
this
 situation has some reasons,
also
 effects. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the main reason behind obesity and propose some possible suggestions that can be helped.First of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology has improved day by day, and it can provide individuals with various services which make their life easier.
For example
, they can buy their needs from online shopping sites,
therefore
 they should not go anywhere,
also
 they do not do exercise,
and
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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their
Change preposition
in their
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 cholesterol level and blood pressure.
Furthermore
, today, in the contemporary world, we face
with
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apply
show examples
different
pandemic
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pandemics
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such
 as
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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, and
people
 should stay at
their
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apply
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home, they cannot go out. They become lazy persons by working from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
,
it
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which
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 leads them to be overweight.
Overweight
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Being overweight
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 has some effects on
people
’s life. One of them is health problems . To be more specific, if they do not
do
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apply
show examples
exercise enough, they cannot manage their
healthy
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health
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 conditions, and their cholesterol level and blood pressure can increase which can be
reason
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the reason
a reason
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 for important
disease
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diseases
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 in the future. At the same time,
this
 situation can decrease their productivity in their work. They cannot do some
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 because of their weight. In conclusion, improving
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology creates lazy
people
 in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 world. Its reasons can be different, but
this
 trend
result
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results
show examples
 in
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
, and it can change our modern life directly. The majority of overweight
people
 deal with some health issues,
also
 it can decline productivity of their work.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction gives a preview of the causes and effects you will discuss, making your intentions clear from the beginning.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and analysis. Instead of general statements, include specific, real-world instances or more detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure; each paragraph should have one clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Use topic sentences to introduce the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your logic.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentences that are awkwardly constructed or grammatically incorrect. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to enhance the clarity of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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