Human activities have a negative effect on plant and animal species. Some people say that it is too late to do anything. Some people think that we should take effective action to improve the situation. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undeniably, Our
planet
faces many challenges and environmental issues become critical in today's world. In
others word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
,
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
of human activities on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
green
areas
and animal
extincs
Correct your spelling
extinct
is more than
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
imaginary
Replace the word
imagination
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
According
show examples
according to
some, there is no
hope
to save
this
planet
,
while
other
people
think some necessary measures are
requirement
Add an article
a requirement
show examples
. I strongly believe that taking
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
can be effective
although
, maybe there is a little
hope
. On the one hand, doing
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
in
this
condition might be a waste of energy and money. Clearly, spending huge money and time without any result, may not be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
appropriate action. Since
people
can use
this
fund in other
areas
and be happy with their limited time.
Furthermore
, perhaps there is not enough time to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
about
this
disruptive environment.
As a result
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be more satisfying to use the rest of their
life-time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
leisure.
Moreover
, everything in
this
world may have an
expire
Replace the word
expiration
show examples
date, so it would be better
accept
Fix the infinitive
to accept
show examples
the situation and cope with that. In
others word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, it is said there is always an end and no one can escape.
Thus
, individuals
accapt
Correct your spelling
accept
that, can handle it without dissapointion, depression, and anxiety and keep their life since
this
conditional may not be
repirable
Correct your spelling
repairable
respirable
.
On the other hand
, there is a chance to
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
some appropriate
acttions
Correct your spelling
actions
and struggle
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
eco-friendly
planet
. Needless to say, in some countries measures have improved
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and changed the
atmospher
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
For example
, some governments preserve species with modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
and
also
they use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cutting-edg
Correct your spelling
cutting-edge
technology like DNA to bring back
extincs
Correct your spelling
extinct
to life.
Consequently
, these actions are effective in some
areas
subsequenlty
Correct your spelling
subsequently
,
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plants and animals either.
Moreover
, it is said that
hope
is the only saver, it means we can not predict the future and no one can see the end of the path, so the public may better have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
faith and belief.
Therefore
, If there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little chance to make
this
planet
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better place, it
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
worth
to try
Change the verb form
trying
show examples
it. In conclusion, in
this
poisoned
planet
by human
implactions
Correct your spelling
implications
, some think we can accept it and just
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
the funds and energies of
people
.
Although
, other
people
like me
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that there is a huge
hope
to improve and make up. Since some
areas
have
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
improved
by using the
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
, other countries can achieve it by having
hope
.
Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically. Start with an introduction, followed by paragraphs each addressing a different aspect of the question, then a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Ensure that each of your paragraphs supports your main argument in a clear atair. Back up your points with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on writing more structured and focused paragraphs. Introduce the topic sentence clearly at the beginning of each paragraph and develop it throughout.
task achievement
Increase the relevance of your examples by ensuring they directly support your argument. This can make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance clarity by simplifying complex sentences and checking for grammatical errors.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main points and reflects your opinion, tying the essay together.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: