IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employers #emphasis #skills #people #addition #qualification #job #success
These days the majority of employers require good social
skills
.
While
 these social
skills
 could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these social
skills
 could not determine exact qualifications and abilities.
Firstly
, social
skills
 play a crucial role in the workplace. Because they could improve employee management, as social
skills
 can effectively engage and motivate employees.
Moreover
, social
skills
 like good communication could increase effective networking by creating a friendly and positive atmosphere between colleagues.
For example
, it is proven that if colleagues in companies get on well and share their ideas with each other, the organisation will be more successful.
Thus
, the importance of having social
skills
 is required more nowadays. On the opposite, having only social
skills
 does not mean that
this
 employee is qualified. There are more
skills
 that determine an efficient worker
such
 as problem-solving
skills
 , decision making and research
skills
.
For example
, not every profession needs good communicational
skills
such
 as doctors they need
skills
 for the treatment of patients.
Therefore
, good qualification for job success is not determined by only social
skills
 . In conclusion,
while
 social
skills
 could bring benefits like social networking and engaging management, it is not enough for job success.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the question, making your stance clear.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by incorporating a wider range of specific examples and data to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly and smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Review and edit your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure, enhancing readability.
coherence cohesion
You've done a good job discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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