When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to tru and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Any country
entries
the new Replace the word
enters
technologies
in their life, automatically old life Will disappear. I agree with this
attendance because new technologies
means
new methods and these techniques are totally different from the traditional ways. So , in Change the verb form
mean
this
article
I will discuss these two reasons.
Add a comma
article,
Firstly
, new technologies
is
used internet and Change the verb form
are
computer
. Fix the agreement mistake
computers
Moreover
, if we are used
networks in our jobs Wrong verb form
use
that
will lead to Correct pronoun usage
it
change
Wrong verb form
changes
the
Change preposition
in the
system
of states
to fit this new
Change the determiner
this new technology
these new technologies
technologies
. In addition
, when we were involved in these new methods, the organs of states
would developed
. What is more, Change the verb form
be developed
develop
Correct article usage
the webs
webs
Fix the agreement mistake
web
are
completely Unnecessary verb
apply
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
system
of Correct article usage
a system
states
which are lead
to Wrong verb form
leads
put
these Verb problem
apply
states
with the
developing countries.
On Correct article usage
apply
other
hand, when countries started Correct article usage
the other
applied
Wrong verb form
applying
this
system
, a lot of things would different. For instance
, the number of employees in every company may be reduced, that
because those mentioned companies will not need Correct word choice
apply
to
these Change preposition
apply
Labours
. Correct your spelling
labourers
Furthermore
, new
Add an article
the new
a new
system
is high
costs but Replace the word
highly
that is
a little problem because the new system
could develop each institution and that lead to increase
Correct article usage
an increase
the
percentage of profits Change preposition
in the
further
than a lot of other advantages.
To conclude
, although
the new system
contains lots of negatives but
in my Remove the conjunction
apply
opinion
the positives Add a comma
opinion,
are over
the disadvantages. Verb problem
outweigh
This
new technology is really development
each country and put it with developing countries Replace the word
developing
in addition
, that system
brings huge income to each state or company applied it.Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
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Introduction
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Language Use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively. This adds depth and clarity to your writing.
Paragraphing
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Supporting Examples
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Accuracy
Check your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. While small inaccuracies are understood, keeping your writing as error-free as possible is essential for clear communication.
Balanced Argument
You have effectively communicated your opinion and discussed both sides of the argument, which is crucial for the task.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises the key points effectively, restating your main argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.