Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #don’t #points

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It is commonly argued by people that world-class

athletes

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make good

role

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models

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for many

youngsters

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whereas

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others opine that they do not make good

role

Use synonyms

models

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. In

this

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essay, I will delve into both views and express my opinion. Many

youngsters

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look up to professional

athletes

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because of what they have achieved in the sport.

However

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, some

athletes

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are not just famed for their achievements in the sport but they are

also

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famous for the attitude they portray. Some

athletes

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have exceptional qualities

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apply

show examples

for example

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hard work and grit which make good

role

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models

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for young people.

For instance

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, football player Cristiano Ronaldo,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is known by his teammates at his football club as ‘the machine’.

This

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due to

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the fact that he works tirelessly after team training in order to perfect his shooting techniques.

This

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makes him a wonderful example of how hard work and grit can bring you from a humble background to the world stage. On the other side of the coin, there are

also

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athletes

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who are a bad

role

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model as they misuse their wealth in

such

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a way that it is not just bad for

him

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them

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but it could lead

youngsters

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who

looked

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look

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up to them astray.

For instance

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, former world number one golf player Tiger Woods, not only was he known for his victories on the golf course

Add the word(s)

, but

show examples

he was

also

Linking Words

famed for cheating on his spouse with many mistresses. Not only did he hide his truth from his spouse but he lied to his children and

that is

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unacceptable to the eyes of the public.

This

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is an example of a bad

role

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mode

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model

show examples

especially

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for

show examples

youngsters

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as there is a risk that they would want to follow in the same footsteps and commit the

wrong doing

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wrongdoing

show examples

too. In conclusion, I believe that professional

athletes

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makes

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make

show examples

good

models

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for

youngsters

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as they exemplify qualities which can inspire others. There are some

athletes

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which

makes

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make

show examples

bad

role

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models

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however

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this

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is only a small proportion of the lot.

Submitted by chubbybunny on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Structure

Ensure that your essay remains neutral until the conclusion where you share your opinion. This helps maintain clarity in your discussion.

Language Use

Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Content

Excellent use of specific examples to support your points (Cristiano Ronaldo and Tiger Woods).

Structure

Clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the essay's argument effectively.

Task Response

You've demonstrated a strong ability to discuss both views in a balanced manner before providing your own opinion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

exemplify
perseverance
discipline
humble beginnings
motivate
inspire
teamwork
sportsmanship
negative behavior
drug abuse
unlawful activities
sensationalizes
unrealistic
unattainable standards
material success
skewed value system
high visibility
magnifies
faults
misleading

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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that violent media directly result in violent behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that schools should focus on academic subjects like algebra, history, and physics, but others think that schools should spent time focusing on practical skills like time management and banking. Discuss both views and give your opinion.