Mrs Barret, an English-speaking woman who lives in your hometown, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barret. In your letter -Suggest how you could help her in her home -Say why you would like to do this work -Explain when you will and will not be available

#mrs #barret #woman #lives #hometown #someone #home #hours #summer #-suggest #-say #work #-explain

Dear Mrs Barret, I hope everything is going well, I am

resident

Correct article usage

a resident

show examples

of your hometown. My name is Amna, I am a

middle age

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

show examples

female and

fortunetanely

Correct your spelling

fortunately

, my apartment is in your vicinity. I

have been reading

Wrong verb form

read

show examples

a newspaper

Change preposition

apply

show examples

last

Change the article

the last

show examples

sunday

Change the capitalization

Sunday

show examples

actually, I was looking for

helper

Correct article usage

a helper

show examples

job as I have remarkable culinary skills, and during my summer break from university, I want to utilise these cooking abilities. I read you

adeveritsed

Correct your spelling

advertised

advertise

for the need of helper at your home specifically during coming summer days for few hours. I

Wrong verb form

would be

show examples

delighted to do work at your place as I would be able to introduce our traditional food to you, and no doubt cooking is

time

consuming

Verb problem

time-consuming

show examples

activity, it

wil

Correct your spelling

will

be a way you can do your other responsibilities at

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

Moreover

, I love to spend

time

with toddlers, you

also

mentioned

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your

two years old

Correct your spelling

two-year-old

show examples

son. So

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, during my working hours I would like to

lookafter

Correct your spelling

look after

her with keen interest. I would like to

intiate

Correct your spelling

initiate

this

job as it is

suitabe

Correct your spelling

suitable

and convenient for me because it demands

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

time

period and duration

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when I will

also

be available. Could you

also

think my presence at your place

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

will be proved beneficial? If you agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kindly, let

inform

Verb problem

apply

show examples

me before

head

Add an article

the head

show examples

otherwise

, I see more options to spend my leisure

time

upcoming

Correct article usage

the upcoming

show examples

summer. Oh! I forgot to tell you that I will not be available on

Friday

Fix the agreement mistake

Fridays

show examples

and Saturdays, on these days I must

fully

Add a missing verb

be fully

show examples

occupied with my family. I am awaiting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your response on

swift

Add an article

a swift

show examples

basis.

Thnak

Correct your spelling

Thank

you.

your

Correct the word

yours

show examples

sincerely, Amna Munir.

Submitted by amnamunir764 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

It's great how you've addressed all the points mentioned in the task with enthusiasm and detail. To refine further, consider revisiting the flow to ensure a smoother transition between ideas, which will enhance readability.

task achievement

While your letter provides thorough responses to the advertised position, ensure every part directly contributes to the main purpose. Streamlining your letter to include only the most relevant details could strengthen its impact.

task achievement

You have successfully outlined how you could help Mrs. Barrett in her home and stated your availability clearly. These elements are crucial for the task's completion.

task achievement

Your closeness to Mrs. Barrett's home and your enthusiasm for the role make your offer compelling.

suitable writing tone

Your letter maintains a friendly and respectful tone throughout which is appropriate for the context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

270 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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