Mrs Barret, an English-speaking woman who lives in your hometown, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barret. In your letter -Suggest how you could help her in her home -Say why you would like to do this work -Explain when you will and will not be available

Dear Mrs Barret, I hope everything is going well, I am
resident
Correct article usage
a resident
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of your hometown. My name is Amna, I am a
middle age
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middle-aged
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female and
fortunetanely
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fortunately
, my apartment is in your vicinity. I
have been reading
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read
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a newspaper
on
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apply
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last
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the last
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sunday
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Sunday
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actually, I was looking for
helper
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a helper
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job as I have remarkable culinary skills, and during my summer break from university, I want to utilise these cooking abilities. I read you
adeveritsed
Correct your spelling
advertised
advertise
for the need of helper at your home specifically during coming summer days for few hours. I
am
Wrong verb form
would be
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delighted to do work at your place as I would be able to introduce our traditional food to you, and no doubt cooking is
time
consuming
Verb problem
time-consuming
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activity, it
wil
Correct your spelling
will
be a way you can do your other responsibilities at
office
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the office
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.
Moreover
, I love to spend
time
with toddlers, you
also
mentioned
about
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apply
show examples
your
two years old
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two-year-old
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son. So
that
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apply
show examples
, during my working hours I would like to
lookafter
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look after
her with keen interest. I would like to
intiate
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initiate
this
job as it is
suitabe
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suitable
and convenient for me because it demands
same
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the same
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time
period and duration
,
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apply
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when I will
also
be available. Could you
also
think my presence at your place
is
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apply
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will be proved beneficial? If you agree
with
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apply
show examples
kindly, let
inform
Verb problem
apply
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me before
head
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the head
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,
otherwise
, I see more options to spend my leisure
time
in
upcoming
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the upcoming
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summer. Oh! I forgot to tell you that I will not be available on
Friday
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Fridays
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and Saturdays, on these days I must
fully
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be fully
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occupied with my family. I am awaiting
of
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apply
show examples
your response on
swift
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a swift
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basis.
Thnak
Correct your spelling
Thank
you.
your
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yours
show examples
sincerely, Amna Munir.
Submitted by amnamunir764 on

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coherence cohesion
It's great how you've addressed all the points mentioned in the task with enthusiasm and detail. To refine further, consider revisiting the flow to ensure a smoother transition between ideas, which will enhance readability.
task achievement
While your letter provides thorough responses to the advertised position, ensure every part directly contributes to the main purpose. Streamlining your letter to include only the most relevant details could strengthen its impact.
task achievement
You have successfully outlined how you could help Mrs. Barrett in her home and stated your availability clearly. These elements are crucial for the task's completion.
task achievement
Your closeness to Mrs. Barrett's home and your enthusiasm for the role make your offer compelling.
suitable writing tone
Your letter maintains a friendly and respectful tone throughout which is appropriate for the context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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