IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph
showed
Wrong verb form
shows
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 the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 which were closed and opened between 2011
up
Change preposition
apply
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to 2018 . Based on the figures information provided the data that accuracy quite clearly indicates. The results were fluctuating between these years. In 2011 the opening
shops
Use synonyms
 were the highest compared to
closured
Correct your spelling
closed
shops
Use synonyms
 with
approximately
Change the adverb
approximate
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 valuables 9500 and 6500
shops
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Then
Linking Words
 after one year opened
shops
Use synonyms
 value
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped very quickly reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4000
shops
Use synonyms
 compared to closing
shops
Use synonyms
 which slightly reduced about 6000.
Then
Linking Words
 as noted in 2014 both
shops
Use synonyms
 were almost equal number about 6200
shops
Use synonyms
. Suddenly,
closured
Correct your spelling
closed
shops
Use synonyms
 had been dropped the lowest values during
this
Linking Words
 period of time .
Might
Correct pronoun usage
There might
show examples
 be several reasons behind that .But ,between 2016 and 2018 the average was almost stable.
Submitted by s116656m on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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