Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and br while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There has been an ongoing
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
about
weather
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whether
show examples
it is hard
work
or determination of factors
such
as money and appearance is more important for bringing success in life . It is the author's opinion that the hard-working and dedicated process is more essential for a successful life but I
also
can not deny the
necessary
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necessity
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of
out look
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outlook
show examples
and finance. The most advantageous aspect of being on hard-working human is experience.
A
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An
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employee who is hard working will come with
abundance
Add an article
an abundance
show examples
of good experiences. To explain
this
, having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good mental and patient would
leads
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lead
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to you
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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to know
to do
Verb problem
apply
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a lot of people,
Correct word choice
and do
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do
Wrong verb form
doing
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a lot of difficult
work
and
therefore
, results in experience
fulfillness
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fulfilment
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Correct your spelling
This
Thid
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This
will benefit that person in ways like being more popular
among
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in
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the
work place
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workplace
show examples
or
be
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being
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able to solve more and more
diffucult
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difficult
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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. It must be understood that hard
work
is a crucial personality in later life. One justification is that the chance of getting a promotion will be significantly higher if labourers are following the right path, thereby, it sustains itself and increases the opportunities as well. Another instance is everyone is compensated for anything they have done, which is a neutral way to receive a better salary without risks, it is
also
a route for people who do not have the courage or the demand of getting fame and bulk of money.
In contrast
, there is a group of individuals arguing that their outlook and available bucks are the foundations for becoming successful
due to
fame.
Therefore
, it creates relationships and acquaintances that are
also
important aspects of investing and sponsoring.
However
, a drawback approach is that it is for several particular jobs,
such
as singer. Simultaneously, a tiny rate of successful individuals exists and accounts for the minority category. In conclusion, I strongly believe that hard
work
will be made up for by raising their position and money.
Thus
, it is the safest method to reach the top of achievement and honour.
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General
Remember to carefully check your essay for typos and grammatical errors before submission. Even small errors can distract from the overall quality of your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within the paragraphs are logically ordered.
Coherence & Cohesion
Using a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can enhance the sophistication of your essay. Consider incorporating more complex sentence types and synonyms for commonly used words.
Task Achievement
While discussing both views, make sure to dedicate similar amounts of detail and analysis to each perspective. This keeps the discussion balanced and comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You effectively discussed both views and clearly stated your own opinion, which is excellent for task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. This aids in the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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