Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and br while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #br #factors #money #appearance

There has been an ongoing

arguement

Correct your spelling

argument

about

weather

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whether

show examples

it is hard

work

or determination of factors

such

as money and appearance is more important for bringing success in life . It is the author's opinion that the hard-working and dedicated process is more essential for a successful life but I

also

can not deny the

necessary

Replace the word

necessity

show examples

out look

Correct your spelling

outlook

show examples

and finance. The most advantageous aspect of being on hard-working human is experience.

Change the article

show examples

employee who is hard working will come with

abundance

Add an article

an abundance

show examples

of good experiences. To explain

this

, having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good mental and patient would

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

to you

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

to know

to do

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a lot of people,

Correct word choice

and do

show examples

Wrong verb form

doing

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a lot of difficult

work

and

therefore

, results in experience

fulfillness

Correct your spelling

fulfilment

Change the punctuation

show examples

Correct your spelling

This

Thid

Correct your spelling

This

will benefit that person in ways like being more popular

among

Change preposition

show examples

the

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

able to solve more and more

diffucult

Correct your spelling

difficult

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

. It must be understood that hard

work

is a crucial personality in later life. One justification is that the chance of getting a promotion will be significantly higher if labourers are following the right path, thereby, it sustains itself and increases the opportunities as well. Another instance is everyone is compensated for anything they have done, which is a neutral way to receive a better salary without risks, it is

also

a route for people who do not have the courage or the demand of getting fame and bulk of money.

In contrast

, there is a group of individuals arguing that their outlook and available bucks are the foundations for becoming successful

due to

fame.

Therefore

, it creates relationships and acquaintances that are

also

important aspects of investing and sponsoring.

However

, a drawback approach is that it is for several particular jobs,

such

as singer. Simultaneously, a tiny rate of successful individuals exists and accounts for the minority category. In conclusion, I strongly believe that hard

work

will be made up for by raising their position and money.

Thus

, it is the safest method to reach the top of achievement and honour.

Thu Mar 28 2024

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General

Remember to carefully check your essay for typos and grammatical errors before submission. Even small errors can distract from the overall quality of your writing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within the paragraphs are logically ordered.

Coherence & Cohesion

Using a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can enhance the sophistication of your essay. Consider incorporating more complex sentence types and synonyms for commonly used words.

Task Achievement

While discussing both views, make sure to dedicate similar amounts of detail and analysis to each perspective. This keeps the discussion balanced and comprehensive.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

Task Achievement

You effectively discussed both views and clearly stated your own opinion, which is excellent for task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. This aids in the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

335 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and br while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Young people learn more about good behavior from books or films/movies than they learn from real-life experiences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that only employees who have worked at a company for a long time deserve to be promoted to a higher position. What is your opinion about this?