As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The
internet
has gained popularity among individuals especially teenagers, while
the number of people who have used newspapers
is decreasing day by day at an alarming rate. I agree with this
statement, there are several reasons for the popularity of the internet
, In this
essay, it will be discussed.
First of all, why I advocated this
viewpoint is that despite causing negative impacts on human health, internet
users more
and more Add a missing verb
are more
rised
because it is more comfortable. Correct your spelling
raised
For instance
, in the majority of countries, people prefer to
the Change preposition
apply
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
instead
of newspapers
due
to Change preposition
apply
getting
daily Wrong verb form
get
news
. To be more specific, nowadays individuals are more comfortable than in the past because they can have new news
in a minute easily. However
, in the past, getting new news
had required a lot of time. Therefore
, most people have the opportunity to access the Internet
.
Another point worth noting is that individuals who have used the internet
try to protect the environment. For example
, some internet
users claim that newspapers
ought to be eliminated by the government in order to help the environment. To elaborate, newspapers
require several papers, and as a result
, it leads to cutting trees
. Consequently
, cutting trees
are able to influence the forests. Moreover
, cutting trees
not only affects the environment but also
has the potential to affect animals. For example
, birds may have nests in the trees
, and if the trees
are removed, their nests will be destroyed. Therefore
, in spite of reading news
from the internet
can cause eye diseases, internet
users continue to rely heavily on digital sources for their information.
In conclusion, although
the internet
can have a detrimental impact on the eyes, it is becoming more well-known, whereas
newspaper readers have declined more and more.Submitted by writingbhos on
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Introduction clarity
Your introduction sets a clear tone for the essay, nicely presenting your agreement with the statement. However, refining your thesis statement to directly address the prompt can make your stance clearer from the beginning.
Paragraph development
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Some points could be further elaborated to enhance reader understanding.
Use of examples
Integrating more specific examples to support your points would strengthen your argument. While you reference general tendencies, more concrete examples or data could add depth.
Transitional phrases
You've done well in linking ideas within paragraphs, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Phrases that show contrast, addition, or cause and effect, would help readability and flow.
Conclusion development
Your conclusion summarizes your main ideas but could be enhanced by clearly restating your stance and highlighting your key arguments more distinctively.
Grammar and accuracy
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and unconventional word choices throughout your essay. Regular practice and review of grammar rules can help in reducing these errors.
Comparative analysis
Good use of comparative perspectives between the past and present to argue your point.
Acknowledging counterarguments
Acknowledgement of counterarguments (e.g., health impacts) adds depth to your essay.
Originality in arguments
Your effort to link the use of newspapers and environmental concerns provides an interesting dimension to your argument.