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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows percentages of people choosing different ways to reduce greenhouse gases in four different countries in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows percentages of people choosing different ways to reduce greenhouse gases in four different countries in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#percentages #people #greenhouse #gases #four #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph depicts the four methods citizens in four European
countries
Use synonyms
 chose to
minize
Correct your spelling
minimise
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gases by the year 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 each
Use synonyms
countries folks
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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 prioritized
to
Change preposition
apply
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different measures to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the problem of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Fix the agreement mistake
gases
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. The people in Portugal responded the most to respond
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 call for environmental actions. Looking at the diagram in more detail, among the given
countries
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, the people of Portugal
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to be more active in reducing
greenhouse
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 gas. There were 40% of
residences
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residents
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 in Portugal adopted the government regulations, which was nearly
three fifths
Add a hyphen
three-fifths
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 higher than the second country, which was Poland, with about 28%. The third and fourth
countries
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 were
Estonia
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 and
Holland
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, which
differing
Wrong verb form
differed
show examples
 merely 2%(18% and 16%). Interestingly, there was the same percentage of people in Portugal and Poland being willing to alter their
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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, with 30%, and there was
similar
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a similar
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 situation in
Estonia
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 and
Holland
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, with only 10%.
Although
Linking Words
 government regulations and
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 were not the types for those residences in
Estonia
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 and
Holland
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, it doesn't mean that these two
countries
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 did not want to attend the action of diminishing
greenhouse
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 gas.
Instead
Linking Words
, there were 30% and 20% of persons in
Holland
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 chose advanced technology and others to improve the Earth's environment,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the figures for those in
Estonia
Use synonyms
 were 20% and 18%, respectively.
Submitted by Joanna on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, greenhouse, estonia, holland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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