Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

One of the widely discussed problems these days is the problem with sleep. It is undeniable that sleep has become an essential part of our life. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will look at the reasons and factors which have a bond with

this

Linking Words

problem. One of the main causes of little sleep is our modern technology. And what exactly is it? It is a mobile

phones

Change the noun form

phone

show examples

. The second cause that might be noted, in my view, is

less

Add an article

a less

show examples

active lifestyle. Sometimes it is

result

Add an article

the result

a result

show examples

of spending a lot of time on the phone. The first cause mentioned above has led to dependence on a mobile phone. Why

this

Linking Words

technology? Because we have a lot of contemporary entertainment apps

Change preposition

show examples

smartphones.

For instance

Linking Words

, it comprises applications

such

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

show examples

Instagram,

Tik Tok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

show examples

, Like and various games. Using

Linking Words

this apps

Change the determiner

this app

these apps

show examples

our body is resting and the head does not think about anything. All

this

Linking Words

provoked our laziness and

conrtibuted

Correct your spelling

contributed

contribute

considerable

Add an article

a considerable

show examples

addiction. Another problem that follows is that we have unproductivity. One of the consequences of

this

Linking Words

is the rest of the excess energy. Having weighed everything mentioned

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, we can come to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

conclusion that for healthy sleep we need to have a productive day without dependence. Now our young people encounter addiction very frequently. So it would not be surprising to see some lost people in their lives, with reluctance for anything in the near future. In

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

lost

Correct article usage

a lost

show examples

generation

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

might happen and we should be ready to bear all the consequences of that.

Submitted by dnm.best on Fri Mar 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and provides answers to both questions, but it could benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations on both the problems caused by lack of sleep and the solutions. For example, you mention technology as a cause, but more could have been said about its psychological and physiological effects.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could be more effectively organized. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and sentences should logically flow from one to the next. Linking words and phrases can help improve the transitions between ideas.

linguistic accuracy

There are a few instances where your word choice and sentence structure can be improved for clarity. For example, 'it is a mobile phones' can be rephrased to 'one example is mobile phones'. Additionally, correcting grammatical errors like 'conrtibuted' to 'contributed' will make your essay more polished. Proofreading for minor mistakes will improve overall readability.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a well-defined structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in understanding your flow of thoughts.

task achievement

You tackle the prompt by providing two main causes and delve into them. This shows your ability to identify key points related to the topic.

task achievement

Your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively and reiterates the importance of addressing the issue of sleep deprivation. This reinforces your overall argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Insomnia
Sleep deprivation
Sleep disorders
Sleep quality
Fatigue
Exhaustion
Restless
Restorative sleep
REM sleep
Circadian rhythm
Sleep hygiene
Napping
Sleep duration
Melatonin
Sleep-inducing
Drowsiness
Sleep disturbances
Obstructive sleep apnea
Snoring
Sleepwalking
Sleep talking
Shift work
Sleeping pills
Sleep aid
Relaxation techniques
Meditation
Deep breathing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some parents encourage their high school students to get an after-school or weekend job. Other parents cite the importance of getting good grades, discouraging their high school students from getting after- school or weekend jobs. What is your opinion or viewpoint on this subject? Use specific supporting details from your own observations, experience, or reading as you write your response
In the modern era, Inflation rates are increasing day by day and so does living expenses. The capacity of money as compared to the past for its purchasing power is degrading rapidly. To tackle this problem, some families insist their youngsters do some part-time jobs while others have the opposite opinion. I will discuss the importance of both phenomena along with my opinion.
7
band
The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Road accidents have always been a significant matter of concern, so much so that there is an idea that says the problem can only be solved by punishing driving offenders very strictly. However, I do not think this is the only solution, although it could be somewhat effective.
8
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however, say that cooperation and teamwork and skills are more important discuss both sides and give your opinion
Whilst individuals contend the notion that the primary objective of schools should be teaching kids how to be competitive with each other, others share an opposing view by claiming that soft skills bear an unparalleled importance to establishing an environment which is run by collaboration. It is my contention that for children to be successful in their future life endeavours, both of these skills are equally important and should be amended into classroom education.
7
band
Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?
These days, we can see the education systems are more difficult than the previous time, so most children have to take a lot of exams nearly either 5 or 6 to 18 years old. While a lot of exams have several benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks.
7.5
band
Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.
The issue of whether grandparents should live with their extended families is partly a question of the traditions in different cultures or nationalities. However, the question of affordability also plays an increasing part, and so this debate is rather complex, as we shall see.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Fully explain your ideas

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however, say that cooperation and teamwork and skills are more important discuss both sides and give your opinion

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.