Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers.Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

In recent years, the world has witnessed a growing advocacy for equal rights from different groups of people including feminists. There are quite a number of people who are standing up for
women
to get equal opportunities
at
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in
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the
work places
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workplace
show examples
.
However
,
this
view is opposed by the
die hard
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die-hard
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traditional
men
who
pessive
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perceive
women
as beings that belong at
homes
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home
show examples
taking care of children and doing common
hosehold
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household
chores. In
this
essay, I will explain and give reasons why I agree with the
old fashioned
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old-fashioned
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community who are
agaisnt
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against
women
pessuing
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pursuing
persuing
careers at an equal rate with
men
.
Firstly
,
women
were created to be helpers of
men
as we learn from the Holy Bible.
Therefore
, it is taboo to hear that
women
are competing with
men
in the
work place
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workplace
show examples
. Their duty is to support the man,
that is
the head of the family. These days we are witnessing
women
leaving
new born
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newborn
show examples
babies at
day care
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daycare
show examples
centres or with a hired
child minder
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childminder
show examples
. Marriages are collapsing
due to
these
over ambitious
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over-ambitious
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women
,
instead
of staying at home taking care of children, doing house chores, cooking and providing emotional support to their husbands, they are busy
puting
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putting
effort
on
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into
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how to earn more than a ma. I
persive
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perceive
this
as an act of defiance of
subsimision
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submission
to
men
.
Additionaly
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Additionally
, females are not as strong as
men
, be it
mentaly
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mentally
mental
or physically. There is no way they can
out match
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out-match
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their counterparts of the same trade. Yes
they
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apply
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are there
woman
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a woman
show examples
who
are
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is
show examples
talented in certain areas,
for example
in computer science, but truthfully speaking there is a
man
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men
show examples
twice as good,
moreover
men
have more endurance and higher ability of
problem solving
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problem-solving
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, so even if they are employed at the same level their salaries should not be the same. So it is
pointelss
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pointless
to appoint a woman
on
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to
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that post.
Therefore
,
women
should stick to their domestic
value
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values
show examples
and leave careers for
men
. In conclusion, the issue of equal rights is not for the
faint hearted
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faint-hearted
show examples
, it needs a strong understanding of our
calture
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culture
and traditions.
Women
should not fight with nature, they should accept their calling of being the heart of the house and stop competing with the heads of the house in the industries and
coporate
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corporate
world.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Your essay structure is commendable, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, further development of ideas and rebuttals to opposing views could significantly enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure. However, improving the transition between ideas could make your argument even more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
While you have developed your perspective, incorporating more balanced viewpoints and specific examples could further strengthen your argument. Consider adding concrete examples or statistics to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which aligns well with the expectations for a coherent and cohesive essay.
task achievement
Your impassioned argument shows commitment to your stance, which engages the reader.
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