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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people want to buy famous brands in clothes cars and other items . What are the reasons behind this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

#people #brands #clothes #cars #items #trend #development
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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are
infuenced
Correct your spelling
influenced
 by new trends like
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consumerism and fancy
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
.
Henc
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Hence
, the famous
Use synonyms
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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 outputs, producing cars and clothes, are
prefered
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preferred
 by some customers. In my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 trend might have some drawbacks and consequences. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will provide reasons
of
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for
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 the branding tendency and
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 side behind that.
To begin
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 with, one compelling reason why
people
Use synonyms
 would like to buy brand goods is the wide
rang
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range
show examples
 of advertisements. To
clearify
Correct your spelling
clarify
, the
first rated
Add a hyphen
first-rated
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 spend a huge amount of money
to
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on
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the
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apply
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advertises
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advertising
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.
Thus
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, celebrities, actors, and bloggers recommend these products as well.
As a result
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, It is likely
to see
Verb problem
that
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 manufacturers, familiar with
people
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, have a high sell in the global market
due to
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 most
people
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. Another tantalizing reason might be a
feel
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feeling
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 of
confidant
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confidence
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 after buying a fancy product. Needless to say, in
this
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 consumerism world, having some famous goods like a Fendi bag or an Apple phone is a point and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
confidance
Correct your spelling
confidence
 to a person.
Subsequently
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 need to show off and attention they use the brands.
However
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, these desires can be a problematic
isssue
Correct your spelling
issue
. Since
people
Use synonyms
 would not like to try a new
strarted
Correct your spelling
started
companies
Use synonyms
 output and oppositely, they prefer to just purchase from famous
manufacters
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manufacturers
, new
companies
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 might have
exprienced
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experienced
 a
deacreas
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decrease
 in financial support and
also
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attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of the
people
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.
Consequently
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, many
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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mans
Correct your spelling
men
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 would not
investment
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invest
show examples
 in
the
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apply
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small and new production.
As a result
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, many
of
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apply
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startups may not progress and
develope
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develop
 without financial support and investments.
In other words
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, local markets and
new-brands ma
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new brands may
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not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
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 have any chance
agiant
Correct your spelling
against
 the huge
companies
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 and might
faild
Correct your spelling
fail
. In conclusion, most individuals like to buy famous brand items
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of adverties and the points of buying those.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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, It
would
Verb problem
apply
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might
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
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 new and small
companies
Use synonyms
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additionally
Correct word choice
and additionally
show examples
, reduce the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
the
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apply
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startups.
Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on

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structure
Try to ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-developed with examples or explanations.
vocabulary
Pay attention to the accuracy of your vocabulary and try to use a range of lexical resources to make your argument more convincing and varied.
grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors. Regularly reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing writing can help improve your accuracy.
content
To improve task achievement, ensure that your response is fully answering the question and that your ideas are well-developed. Using specific examples can help make your argument stronger.
topic engagement
You effectively addressed the topic, providing clear reasons for the trend and its potential consequences.
structure
Your essay structure is clear and logical, making it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
examples
The use of examples, though they could be more specific, helps to support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social Status
  • Proliferation
  • Globalization
  • Targeted Advertising
  • Perceived Value
  • Desirability
  • Reliability
  • Peer Pressure
  • Consumer Satisfaction
  • Innovation
  • Competition
  • Excessive Consumerism
  • Social Classes
  • Detract
  • Appreciation
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