Today, more and more full time university students focus on other activities rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
peoples
are expected Fix the agreement mistake
people
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
a
good soft Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
skills
also
technical skills
. Soft skills
were not obtained through classroom
, but it was developed through social Correct article usage
the classroom
activities
. In order to meet the
needs, some college Correct your spelling
these
students
were
spent more Unnecessary verb
apply
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
to join
several Change the verb form
joining
activities
outside their routine class
. We need to consider both the benefits and the drawbacks of Fix the agreement mistake
classes
this
case.
Firstly
, students
have obligations to finish their studies so they need to put
it Verb problem
make
as
first priority. If they Correct your spelling
a
were
too focused on Wrong verb form
are
another
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
activities
besides
their academic activites
, they will Correct your spelling
activities
struggling
to follow their courses. It would Change the verb form
struggle
be struggling
really
hard to Add a missing verb
be really
focused
on several Change the form of the verb
focus
activities
simultaneously since you have limitation
of time and presence to join in the teaching process.
Add an article
a limitation
the limitation
Then
, spending more time for
other Change preposition
on
activities
could give
Verb problem
have
bad
influence Correct article usage
a bad
to
your studies Change preposition
on
that
would lead to Correct pronoun usage
apply
bad
Add an article
a bad
result
. If the Fix the agreement mistake
results
students
get low score
after Fix the agreement mistake
scores
graduated
, they will face Wrong verb form
graduating
another challenges
Replace the adjective
another challenge
other challenges
such
as finding jobs. The employer would thinking
if the candidates Change the verb form
think
be thinking
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
fulfill
the Change the spelling
fulfil
requirement
related to their studies Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
and
it would give Correct word choice
apply
bad
perception Correct article usage
a bad
about
their competencies. As Change preposition
of
fresh
graduate, the jobseeker would be considered from their technical competence rather Add an article
a fresh
on
their experience to do the job.
Change preposition
than
To conclude
, I completely disagree if
college Correct word choice
that
students
put more effort to participate
Change preposition
into participating
on
Change preposition
in
another
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
activities
beside
studying in the classroom. Knowledge from lecturing class would be more necessary to improve your value in the future to get a job or Replace the word
besides
another objectives
that you want to reach. Social Replace the adjective
another objective
other objectives
skills
could improved bye
Correct your spelling
by
the
time through experience after the studying Correct article usage
apply
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity
had
finished.Wrong verb form
has
Submitted by cracko.eko on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
To further enhance the sophistication of your essay, especially in coherence and cohesion, connect your paragraphs and ideas more fluidly by using a wider variety of linking words and transitions. This will help the reader follow your argumentation effortlessly.
Task Response
While your essay presents a strong stance, incorporating a more balanced view by acknowledging some contrary perspectives and then refuting them could provide a more nuanced understanding to the reader. Consider adding a paragraph that introduces a counterargument before reinforcing your thesis.
Task Response
For an even stronger essay, try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your points. These examples give more weight to your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Minor inaccuracies are present in the text. Improving these could enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and takes a clear stance, which is excellent for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of your essay into distinct paragraphs for introduction, argumentation, and conclusion is a strong point. This structure contributes significantly to coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!