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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows that the persentage of Australian export to four countries from 1990 to 2012

The graph below shows that the persentage of Australian export to four countries from 1990 to 2012
#persentage #australian #export #four #countries
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The line graph illustrates the Australine
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
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 to Japan, America,
China
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 and
India
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 from 1990 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
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export
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the export
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rate
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 of Japan,
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 and
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india
Change the capitalization
India
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 showed
a
Correct article usage
apply
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steady
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
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export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
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 in
China
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 experienced a significant rise over the period. In detail, in 1990 the
export
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 proportion of
China
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 and
India
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were
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was
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 nearly 0% for both countries.
China
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's
rate
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 increased sharply
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the period, exceeding all
countray
Correct your spelling
country
 almost 30% in 2012. In
meantime
Correct article usage
the meantime
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, the percentage of
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export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
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 to
India
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 was
in
Change preposition
apply
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steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 state
untile
Correct your spelling
until
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 2000
and
Correct word choice
apply
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increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 from 2005 to 2006 and
return
Wrong verb form
returned
show examples
 to
drop
Correct article usage
a drop
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 in 2012 which is the lowest. Moving on
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 rest
exports
Change preposition
of exports
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, in 1990 the
export
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rate
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 of Japan (30%) was the highest among the fourth
counries
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
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withine
Correct your spelling
within
with
 the years until it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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 less than 20% in 2012. The US
rate
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 in 1990 was 10% and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated until it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 less than 10 %
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Submitted by wjdan.areeshi on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words export, china, india, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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