IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The supplied bar chart above represents the data about people living in rural, urban and town who born in Australia or outside of state between 1995 and 2010.

The supplied bar chart above represents the data about people living in rural, urban and town who born in Australia or outside of state between 1995 and 2010.
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The bar graphs above
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the data about
people
Use synonyms
 living in rural, urban and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
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 who
birth
Verb problem
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
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 or out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were different kinds
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 born in or outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 namely
cities
Use synonyms
, towns and rural
areals
Correct your spelling
areas
. There
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
Correct article usage
a fluctuation
show examples
fluctuation
Correct article usage
a fluctuation
show examples
 increase
Change preposition
in
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Australia
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
. Remaining
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Australia
Use synonyms
, there was
dramatic
Add an article
a dramatic
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 increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 born in
cities
Use synonyms
 which accounted for approximately 60
reports
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 from
cities
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
 decrease
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 towns and rural areas which accounted
less
Change preposition
for less
show examples
 than 20
reports
Use synonyms
repetively
Correct your spelling
repetitively
respectively
 in 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 born outside
Australia
Use synonyms
, there was
dramatic
Add an article
a dramatic
show examples
 increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 born in
cities
Use synonyms
 and almost accounted for 80
reports
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
 decrease
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 towns and rural areas
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
accounted for under 20
reports
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities, reports with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Migration patterns
  • Population distribution
  • Rural
  • Urban
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Growth rate
  • Settlement patterns
  • Residential categories
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructure
  • Economic opportunities
  • Lifestyle preferences
  • Residential mobility
  • Urban planning
  • Governmental policies
  • Community impact
  • Data analysis
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