Some people think overcrowding in large cities can be reduced by building skyscrapers, while others think the problem can be solved by encouraging people to move to countryside. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It has been said that crowd overload can be managed by constructing tall buildings
just
. Rephrase
apply
Though
, the opposite mindset believes in reverse migration measures. I absolutely agree with the latter one.
Correct word choice
However
Majority
of the megacity decision-makers agree with proceeding Correct article usage
The majority
any
necessary steps to make Change preposition
with any
people
to
move to Change the verb form
apply
suburbs
or villages. For example
, hence
educating
and learning skills Replace the word
education
are apparently be
important Change the verb form
are apparently
reasone
for Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
people
especially the young ones to migrate from their hometown to megacities, therefore
one of the possible policies which broadly can be taken by goverments
is moving the universities or vocational schools to Correct your spelling
governments
government
suburbs
or establishing one in smaller cities. Moreover
, the easiest access to more job opportunities, better medical services and other facilities are able to be another widly
spread Correct your spelling
widely
wildly
reasone
for folk to leave their local homes and stay in metropolitans, it is clear Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
than
equipping Correct word choice
that
suburbs
, village
and smaller cities with these basic and Fix the agreement mistake
villages
pitval
infrastructures of leaving can be Correct your spelling
pivotal
initial
more
effective procedure to crowd management by meeting all rights of Add an article
a more
citezens
.
I personally believe that by implementing the given measures and decentralized facilities, we can Correct your spelling
citizens
consequently
reach a more
healthier and safer society by preventing Change the word
apply
the
population accumulation in some places rather than others. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, in my perspective spreading the populace over the country as similar as possible, in addition
to societal benefits, it may affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
environment
positively. because Add an article
the environment
overloaded
population definitely can lead to more Correct article usage
an overloaded
environmentally
impacts Change the word
environmental
such
as more wasted producing
or Replace the word
production
exessive
gain from natural resources locally.
Correct your spelling
excessive
On the contrary
, other people
argue that by
constructing high rise and huge Change preposition
apply
building
, can Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
fulfill
all Change the spelling
fulfil
people
rights to access Change noun form
people's
to
daily living essential facilities, which is unacceptable Change preposition
apply
from
my view, since it undoubtedly Change preposition
in
end
in hardness to supply or even lack of enough food, clean water, and other fundamentals especially in less developed places, meanwhile by clear increasing in crime Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
loosing
safe society will be a certain consequence.
In conclusion, reversing Replace the word
losing
migration
and Add an article
a migration
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
on
Change preposition
in
facilitize
villages and Correct your spelling
facilities
suburbs
instead
of funding to build skyescrapers
is the best Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
sollution
for overcrowded Correct your spelling
solution
managment
without any doubt.Correct your spelling
management
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on
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coherence
Try to vary your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and easier to read. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can enhance the flow of your ideas.
cohesion
Include a more explicit introduction and conclusion. Clearly stating the topic and your stance at the beginning, and summarizing your arguments at the end can greatly improve clarity.
coherence
Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs for each main idea. This will help readers follow your argument more easily and enhance the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay by showing how your ideas apply in practical situations.
task achievement
You clearly addressed both views and provided your opinion, which is excellent for task achievement.
general
You have an interesting perspective, and your passion for the topic shines through, making your argument compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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