The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

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The graphs below show the percentage of obese men and women aged 12-19 in the UK by nationality over the 10 years from 2004 to 2014.

Overall

,it is obvious that In 2014, the percentage of people with obesity increased in all three ethnicities, with Hispanic boys and

non-Hispanic

Black

girls

each reaching the highest percentages among their gender. Looking into detail,in 2004,the rate of

Non-Hispanic

White and

Non-Hispanic

teenagers were 12 and 11

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

respectively.In 2014 these figures rose to 17 and 20

percent

for the same ethnicities.

Furthermore

,among boys, the highest increase was among ethnic Hispanics, by 14

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in the 10 years from 2004 to 2014. İn

girls

,16

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Non-Hispanic

Black

girls

were overweight in 2004, which was the highest, compared with the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

ethnic groups,but

this

figure rose by 13

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2014.

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

,the proportion of

Non-Hispanic

and Hispanic obese

girls

were 9

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

and 12

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

.After a decade,these numbers rose by the same

percent

Replace the word

percentage

show examples

which was 5%.

Submitted by Name_1234 on Sat Mar 30 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words non-hispanic, girls, percent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalence
obesity
ethnicity
impact
bar charts
data
represent
studying
rates
significant
differences
highest
lowest
compare
trend
experienced
changes
over 10-year period
highlight
variations
notable
summarize
findings
implications
adolescents
addressing

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The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

In some countries, people are spending long hours at the workplace. Why does this happen? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

you are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. What the event is. Why the event is being held? What arrangements have already been made? How your friend can help?

Many museum charg for admission while others are free do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to musuems outweigh dsisdavantges

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?