The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

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The graphs below show the percentage of obese men and women aged 12-19 in the UK by nationality over the 10 years from 2004 to 2014.

Overall

Linking Words

,it is obvious that In 2014, the percentage of people with obesity increased in all three ethnicities, with Hispanic boys and

non-Hispanic

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Black

girls

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each reaching the highest percentages among their gender. Looking into detail,in 2004,the rate of

Non-Hispanic

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White and

Non-Hispanic

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teenagers were 12 and 11

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percent

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per cent

show examples

respectively.In 2014 these figures rose to 17 and 20

percent

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for the same ethnicities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,among boys, the highest increase was among ethnic Hispanics, by 14

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in the 10 years from 2004 to 2014. İn

girls

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,16

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percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Non-Hispanic

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Black

girls

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were overweight in 2004, which was the highest, compared with the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

ethnic groups,but

this

Linking Words

figure rose by 13

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percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2014.

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

,the proportion of

Non-Hispanic

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and Hispanic obese

girls

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were 9

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percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

and 12

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percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

.After a decade,these numbers rose by the same

Use synonyms

percent

Replace the word

percentage

show examples

which was 5%.

Name_1234Sat Mar 30 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words non-hispanic, girls, percent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalence
obesity
ethnicity
impact
bar charts
data
represent
studying
rates
significant
differences
highest
lowest
compare
trend
experienced
changes
over 10-year period
highlight
variations
notable
summarize
findings
implications
adolescents
addressing

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The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

In spite of the advance made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

Scientists that computers will become more intelligent than human Some find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss points and give your own opinion.

Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.