In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People
shoot very good photos with their smartphones
, which photos are easily shared with
on social media platforms. From my perspective, I highly support Change preposition
apply
this
idea that Correct determiner usage
the
this
results in using professional photographers
gradually decreasing. In the next paragraphs, I delve into the main reasons in their details
.
To commence with the first reason for my agreement Fix the agreement mistake
detail
that
is related to the convenience of Correct pronoun usage
apply
smartphones
for shooting. Namely, almost all smartphones
carry with their the
cut-edge technology Correct article usage
apply
properties
. Therefore
, people
can either arrange with using
Change preposition
to use
them
some applications or share their pictures in a short time. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Besides
, the
Correct article usage
apply
smartphones
thriving excellent Change noun form
smartphones'
properties
provides
not only perfect camerasChange the verb form
provide
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
mass memory. For example
, many telephones, which have some front and back the highest resolution cameras, can compete with professional photographers
.
One of another significant reason
is Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
smartphones
are lighter than professional photographers
which makes them easier to carry. Especially, most people
take photos when they go to travel. It is clear that
travelers
bear a lot of suitcases with them. Change the spelling
travellers
For
this
reason, people
prefer to take with their smartphones
whose features are same
Correct article usage
the same
their
professional Change preposition
as their
photographers
features. So, more lighter goods the better for them. What`s more, as Change to a genitive case
photographer's
photographers'
such
many people
discard or sell their professional photographers
To conclude
, smartphones
which have many good camera properties
are gradually get
ahead in Change the verb form
are gradually getting
its
competition with professional Correct pronoun usage
their
photographers
. That’s why they provide convenience both the aspect of them involve the
cut-edge technology Correct article usage
apply
properties
such
as applications and programs placed in
Change preposition
apply
as well as
easy using
and carrying facilities.Replace the word
use
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Introduction Development
Make sure to thoroughly introduce your argument and offer a clear thesis statement in your introduction. Develop a more explicit introductory paragraph that clearly outlines your stance and previews the main reasons for your perspective.
Specific Examples
Include a wider range of specific examples to support your points. While some examples are provided, incorporating more detailed and varied instances could enhance your argument's strength and relevance.
Language Clarity
Consider revising for clarity and precision in language. Some sentences are awkward or unclear, which can make your main points less compelling. Polishing your phrasing and ensuring that each sentence directly supports your argument will make your essay more persuasive.
Paragraph Structure
Work on the structure of your body paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Pay attention to paragraph development to ensure a coherent flow of ideas.
Conclusion Development
Expand and refine your conclusion. While you briefly summarize your points, a more developed conclusion that reiterates your stance and reflects on the implications or future outlook of your argument would be powerful.
Topic Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear stance throughout.
Essay Structure
You've shown an ability to organize your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids coherence and cohesion.
Use of Examples
The use of specific examples, though they could be more varied and detailed, helps to support your arguments.
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