In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People

Use synonyms

shoot very good photos with their

smartphones

Use synonyms

, which photos are easily shared

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

on social media platforms. From my perspective, I highly support

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

idea that

this

Linking Words

results in using professional

photographers

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gradually decreasing. In the next paragraphs, I delve into the main reasons in their

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

. To commence with the first reason for my agreement

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is related to the convenience of

smartphones

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for shooting. Namely, almost all

smartphones

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carry with their

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cut-edge technology

properties

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Therefore

Linking Words

people

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can either arrange

with using

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to use

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

some applications or share their pictures in a short time.

Besides

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

smartphones

Change noun form

smartphones'

show examples

thriving excellent

properties

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provides

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provide

show examples

not only perfect cameras

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apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

mass memory.

For example

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, many telephones, which have some front and back the highest resolution cameras, can compete with professional

photographers

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. One of another significant

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

smartphones

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are lighter than professional

photographers

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which makes them easier to carry. Especially, most

people

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take photos when they go to travel.

It is clear that

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travelers

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travellers

show examples

bear a lot of suitcases with them.

For

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this

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reason,

people

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prefer to take with their

smartphones

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whose features are

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

their

Change preposition

as their

show examples

professional

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photographers

Change to a genitive case

photographer's

photographers'

show examples

features. So, more lighter goods the better for them. What`s more, as

such

Linking Words

many

people

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discard or sell their professional

photographers

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To conclude

Linking Words

smartphones

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which have many good camera

properties

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are gradually get

Change the verb form

are gradually getting

show examples

ahead in

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

competition with professional

photographers

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. That’s why they provide convenience both the aspect of them involve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cut-edge technology

properties

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as applications and programs placed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

as well as

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easy

using

Replace the word

use

show examples

and carrying facilities.

sabinanezar93Sat Mar 30 2024

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Introduction Development

Make sure to thoroughly introduce your argument and offer a clear thesis statement in your introduction. Develop a more explicit introductory paragraph that clearly outlines your stance and previews the main reasons for your perspective.

Specific Examples

Include a wider range of specific examples to support your points. While some examples are provided, incorporating more detailed and varied instances could enhance your argument's strength and relevance.

Language Clarity

Consider revising for clarity and precision in language. Some sentences are awkward or unclear, which can make your main points less compelling. Polishing your phrasing and ensuring that each sentence directly supports your argument will make your essay more persuasive.

Paragraph Structure

Work on the structure of your body paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Pay attention to paragraph development to ensure a coherent flow of ideas.

Conclusion Development

Expand and refine your conclusion. While you briefly summarize your points, a more developed conclusion that reiterates your stance and reflects on the implications or future outlook of your argument would be powerful.

Topic Understanding

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear stance throughout.

Essay Structure

You've shown an ability to organize your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids coherence and cohesion.

Use of Examples

The use of specific examples, though they could be more varied and detailed, helps to support your arguments.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

democratization
visual culture
composition
lighting
technical skills
proliferation
oversaturate
niches
unique styles
replicated
high-quality
industries
underscore
showcase
collaboration
diverse perspectives
photographic landscape
amateur
professional

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