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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.
#data #railway #systems #six #citites #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The table illustrates some details about the underground transport system in 6 different countries, including opening dates, the lengths and the
number
Use synonyms
 of yearly
passengers
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 London is the first city
enjoying
Change the verb form
to enjoy
show examples
this
Linking Words
 means of transportation, which started to be used in the year 1863,
while
Linking Words
 Los Angeles is the newest one, opening in 2001. London
also
Linking Words
 has the longest route of railways (394
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
),
whereas
Linking Words
 the length of railways in Kyoto is only 11
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
, making it the shortest railway system between these countries. looking at the
number
Use synonyms
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
, who prefer using
this
Linking Words
 transportation method, Tokyo stands in the first place. Following which is Paris and
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
 which are the second and third respectively. Again Kyoto is the country in which only 45 million people use underground railways on a yearly basis, which is why it stands in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sixth place regarding
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of yearly
passengers
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Tokyo
Change noun form
Tokyo's
show examples
 underground railway system is not the longest one as far as these countries are concerned, it has 1928 million
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 per year. Kyoto stands in the
last
Linking Words
 place regarding both
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
 and the length of railway routes.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, passengers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway systems
  • date opened
  • kilometres of route
  • passenger numbers per year
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • oldest
  • recent additions
  • route length
  • network
  • transport
  • massive
  • annually
  • comparatively shorter
  • follows closely behind
  • lowest number
  • second highest
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