Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
Nowadays, the state of being obese has become a major concern in Western countries, particularly among youngsters.
This
essay will illuminate underlying
causes and acute repercussions of Correct article usage
the underlying
this
trend.
One of the main drivers could be associated with poor eating habits. That is
to say, young
generation has a tendency to consume a range of fast food products regardless of Add an article
the young
the
parental supervision, which can signify Correct article usage
apply
the
poor diet. To cite an example, students in primary schools can sometimes deviate from the path of obeying their parents’ food recommendations, and they aim to show off themselves by turning away from what is recommended to eat. A Correct article usage
a
further
cause can be considered an inactive lifestyle. After technological advancements, minors
have more chances to spend their time indoors instead
of enjoying energizing activities. This
is because video games and other gripping applications probably appeal them
to allocate their time to Change preposition
to them
such
experiences. For instance
, it is worth noting that Instagram and TikTok as social platforms offer diverse features for their users, which draw the attention of the young generation and they start to scroll down through them in no time.
Out of all effects
of being obese, health issues and deterioration of social hierarchies are the most prominent consequences. Correct article usage
the effects
Initially
, obesity leads to some respiratory and heart problems, which are common among minors
. Sometimes, they cannot breathe properly that
has a negligible impact on Correct pronoun usage
which
Correct pronoun usage
their hearth
hearth
and Correct your spelling
hearts
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
debilitate
them Correct subject-verb agreement
debilitates
to carry
out extreme outdoor activities. Obese juveniles cannot perform energetic activities, Change preposition
from carrying
such
as playing football and cycling, as well as
their peers do. Another critical concern would be worsening social contacts, which can exacerbate the psychology of the children. For instance
, obese minors
are sometimes bullied or ostracized from the cycle of friends, which might elicit a feeling of solitariness.
In conclusion, obesity that
has become a grave problem can be triggered by distinct factors like poor diet and sedentary lifestyle, and it can pave the way for possible health concerns and deteriorating social relationships among Correct pronoun usage
which
minors
.Submitted by Name_1234 on
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Expression Enhancement
Aim to vary sentence structure and vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance sophistication in expression. This will elevate the readability and engagement of your essay.
Argument Strength
Consider introducing more specific examples or studies to underpin your arguments about the causes and effects of obesity. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and aim to correct them in future writings. Though these errors do not significantly detract from understanding, they can slightly disrupt the flow of your essay.
Understanding and Coverage
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, providing clear explanations of both causes and effects of obesity, which fulfils the task requirements effectively.
Structure and Organization
You have structured your essay well, with a logical progression of ideas and a clear introduction and conclusion. This aids in the reader's comprehension and makes your arguments persuasive.
Use of Examples
You effectively use examples to illustrate your points, such as the impact of social media platforms on the lifestyles of minors. This adds depth to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?