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The pie charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organisations in 2008 and 2014.

The pie charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organisations in 2008 and 2014.
#show #percentage #volunteers #organisations
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart compares the proportion of
volunteers
 in different industries in 2008 and 2014.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that in 2008 Most of the
volunteers
 were in educational industries
while
 in 2014 were in environmental organisations. As we can see,
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 had the lowest percentages in both 2008 and 2014 years which was had remained
steedy
Correct your spelling
steady
. In 2008, the number of
volunteers
 in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and other
organsatins
Correct your spelling
organisations
were
Change the verb form
was
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 equal
while
 in 2014 they had changed to 25% and 9% respectively.
On the other hand
,
prople
Correct your spelling
people
 who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
volunteered in educational industries had
one-forfth
Correct your spelling
one-fifth
one-fourth
one-forth
 of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
volunteers
 in 2008 and it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased to 17% in 2014.
It is clear that
 environmental organisations had 21% of
volunteers
 which had increased up to 29% of
volunteers
.
Finally
, art
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 had only 18% of
volunteers
 in 2008 which had declined to almost 10%.
Submitted by arman802001 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words volunteers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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