In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

These days certain individuals all over the world,
people
are using their own
smartphones
. I think to
use
them it right way more and more prons. In
this
essay, I will discuss about it  On the one hand, nowadays individual
people
are using
smartphones
. it can be used in many ways for the
people
. but they have more benefits if they can be used the right way. It has a variety of facilities like social media, education, communication with each other, etc.
For instance
, If someone needs to find a location for anywhere they can
use
them very easily to fit it.
Moreover
, someone who studies another language can
use
Google search or YouTube. Today it is very popular
learning
Wrong verb form
to learn
show examples
anything from
smartphones
.
For example
, during the COVID pandemic time, the school closed and they were taught online with
smartphones
.
Therefore
, I think
smartphones
outweigh and it is used by
people
more and more prons  On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand, some of them like a teenager
use
some bad habits and do not want to take its benefits. They overuse it like social media more than education.
As a result
, they are addicted to it and they do not want to get an education.
For example
, if they take their hand for a smartphone they can try to play video games or communicate with friends. In conclusion,
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
can
use
more
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
than cons. If it
use
Wrong verb form
is used
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
ways.
Therefore
, I think it has more advantages
people
Change preposition
than people
show examples
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
show examples
Correct your spelling
smartphone
smartphones
smartphon
Correct your spelling
smartphones
,
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

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Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Though the minor inaccuracies do not significantly affect the overall quality, improving them would strengthen your essay.
Specific Examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While you have included examples, adding detail can make your points clearer and more compelling.
Sentence Structure
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance the readability of your essay. Varied sentence structures can make your writing more engaging for the reader.
Thesis Statement
Work on developing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction. A clearly defined thesis guides the reader through your argument more effectively.
Balanced Argument
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, reinforcing the message of your essay.
Relevant Examples
You have made relevant use of examples, such as referencing online education during the COVID pandemic, to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Instantaneous
  • Social networking
  • Navigation
  • Digital payments
  • Distraction
  • Productivity
  • Cybersecurity
  • Ergonomics
  • Addiction
  • Data privacy
  • Prolonged exposure
  • Blue light
  • Cognitive impact
  • Screen time
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