Now a alot of people in college are doing academic study. We should encourge them to learn vocational skill ( like plumbers and electricity). Do you agree or disagree.?

#alot #people #college #study #encourge #skill #plumbers #electricity

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In recent times, a significant number of people in college are studying academic courses

however

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, some people believe that it is necessary for them to learn vocational

education

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. I personally agree with

this

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viewpoint because

instead

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of academic

knowledge

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, vocational

education

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helps any individual to be prepared for the future professional

field

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. To start with, today's professional fields require a lot of professional

skills

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which cannot be achieved only by academic

knowledge

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However

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, if the pupils are trained with vocational

education

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along with

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academic

knowledge

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, they easily apply those

skills

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in their professional fields.

For example

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, the

job

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demands of plumbing and electricity

Change the verb form

are

show examples

huge in the

job

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market with handsome

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

than in other professional fields

such

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as medicine and engineering.

Therefor

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Therefore

show examples

ethose

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those

who are

expert

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experts

show examples

in these

skills

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can easily secure a

job

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in the

job

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market.

In addition

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, learning vocational

education

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could help students to secure a

job

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more quickly than the students taught only with academic

education

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. Students with highly professional

skills

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can easily overcome the

barrires

Correct your spelling

barriers

barrier

of interviews, and assessments before securing a

job

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For example

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, in the USA, the rate of getting a

job

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in the highly competitive professional

field

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for vocational skill holders is faster than those who only have achieved academic

knowledge

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Therefore

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, for those who have achieved vocational

education

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, it is easier for them to get a

job

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in the professional

field

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To conclude

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, academic

knowledge

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is important in various ways but in today's professional

field

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, vocational

education

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is very important. In some cases, it is more important to achieve a vocational

education

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than academic language.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Sun Mar 31 2024

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Language use

Try to diversify your vocabulary more to make your essay stand out. Using a wider range of vocabulary demonstrates your language proficiency.

Grammar & Spelling

Watch out for minor spelling and grammar errors, such as 'therefor ethose' which should be corrected to 'therefore those'. These small mistakes can distract the reader.

Sentence Structure

Introduce more complex sentence structures to portray your ideas more effectively. While your sentences are clear, varying sentence complexity can enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples, well done on achieving a coherent argument throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.

Logical Structure

You have effectively used paragraphing to separate and organise ideas which contributes to the overall clarity of your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Now a alot of people in college are doing academic study. We should encourge them to learn vocational skill ( like plumbers and electricity). Do you agree or disagree.?

Many people believe that it’s better to learn something in a group rather than individually. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?