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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the amount of various drinks in some cities in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the majority of citizens intentionally visit cafes to purchase coffee or tea. An acquisition of instant caffeine comes in second place in the number of common answers,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 an acquisition of fresh one ranks
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the statistics, most residents buy drinks in cafes,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend is observed in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, at 61%, 64% and 62,5% respectively. As for the remaining cities, in Brisbane and Adelaide,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 is
shown
Verb problem
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There may be a verb use issue here.

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a negligible difference between individuals who prefer going to cafes and take
fast brewing
Add a hyphen
fast-brewing

It seems that fast brewing is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 coffee. The former has a distinction of 2,5% and the latter of 1%. As for fresh caffeine, it has been purchased the least in the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 four weeks, especially in Brisbane and Adelaide, with 34% in each city equally. At the same time, Sydney and Melbourne, it is seen the highest number of fresh coffee purchases at 44% and 42,5% respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in Hobart, there is an average number of procurements of fresh caffeine- 37,5%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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