More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the majority of young people and others in society all over the
global
Correct your spelling
globe are
show examples
watching foreign
films
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,rather than local
films
.
However
, the local state should support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
that trade in any country.I completely agree with
this
notion and I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, most film followers watch other countries' movies considerably
highest
Replace the word
higher
show examples
than local ones.But the authority should encourage the artist
create
Add the particle
to create
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best quality product with the latest technology.If it may bring considerable income to own country.As an example,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
show examples
to use
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
latest technology in American
films
, and Hollywood and Bollywood
also
use 3D
films
.
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many views have been seen that kind of cinema product in the future. Another reason why I agree with the state ,
build
Verb problem
is
show examples
that the
government
may develop more facilities for cinemas
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, anywhere.Take an example, there are significant of young people habit to go
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high-quality cinemas with their friends and families.The public prefers to shop,
eat
Correct word choice
and eat
show examples
food and beverages like that in the cinema theatre.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
I strongly believe that
this
it may make more attractive and marvellous.Humans more and more come and spend time in the fillhalls. What is more ,regimes supply eligible resources,and funds from
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
to develop their film production respectively
then
most followers gather around which local industry. In conclusion,
although
it is a common belief that a high amount of mankind watch foreign movies if the
government
support the local film industry to develop their product it increases the number of views in the local country
also
.Personally,I think the
government
encourage industry it grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
efficiently.
Submitted by nimeshafernando126 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Use clear, connecting phrases and make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Task Achievement
For a more comprehensive response, expand your ideas further with detailed explanations and varied sentence structures to improve readability.
Task Achievement
Incorporating specific examples strengthens your argument. Ensure these examples are clearly linked to the points you are making and explore them in detail.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed the topic and provided a relevant argument throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well structured, effectively setting up your essay's argument and summarizing your stance, respectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: